Advancing Women Podcast

Stop Blaming Women’s Ambition: Debunking Butker

Most of you have probably seen or at least heard about the commencement speech from NFL kicker Harrison Butker. This #newepisode doesn’t cover everything he said. Still, I cover the comments that are in my lane…in the areas of gender equity and women’s experiences in the workforce and the home. Let’s explore the “diabolical lie” that Butker asserts women have fallen for. Women’s ambition is, yet again…in the hot seat!

Are women choosing careers over family, and if so, why? Are men choosing not to marry or even date? Are our expectations too high? Should we set aside our workforce ambition and focus on marriage and children? Can we have it all?

These questions and so much more will be examined and dissected to see if they hold up against what the science tells us. You don’t want to miss this one! #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast

 

References:

Advancing Women Podcast. Young men are opting out of marriage. Should we care? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/young-men-are-opting-out-of-marriage-and/id1569849100?i=1000604015537

Forbes: What women want ranking.  https://www.forbes.com/2010/05/26/what-do-women-want-in-husband-forbes-woman-well-being-marriage_slide.html?sh=7c248933b11b

Pew Research (2024) https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/15/among-young-adults-without-children-men-are-more-likely-than-women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday/

News & Observer. Husbands, wives more likely to cheat if they depend on spouse for money. https://www.newsobserver.com/living/article22790805.html#storylink=cpy

Why is Mom So Angry? I’m Glad You Asked!

It’s May, a month we celebrate moms and a great time to touch base about how we are feeling about things.  If you sometimes find yourself feeling undervalued, unseen, and underappreciated, this episode is for you.

Research shows most women, especially moms, have been socially conditioned to do for others. To always prioritize and meet everyone’s needs. We face societal and familial expectations of selflessness, ensuring everybody stays comfortable and happy. We are meant to make sure everything gets done and to do it without complaint.

But what happens when the constant juggling of to-do’s,  the emotional and mental labor, and the lack of feeling valued start to take a toll? How do we tackle the frustration and the resentment that bubbles up? When we are emotionally exhausted,  spiritually fatigued, and feeling undervalued for long enough, we can find ourselves enduring rather than thriving…missing out on the joy (and rest) we deserve.

Guess what though…you are not alone! #tunein to learn more about emotional labor, spiritual fatigue, and just maybe, to get the empathy and acknowledgement you need.

Reference:

Hartley, G. (2018) Fed Up: Emotional labor, women, and the way forward.

Laporte, D. (2014) The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms.

https://www.psychedmommy.com/blog/invisible-load-motherhood

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201807/the-invisible-mom

https://the-toast.net/2015/07/13/emotional-labor/?src=longreads

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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A Grown Up Gap Year With #Youtuber Jen Lefforge

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you could do anything? What if you took a grown-up gap year to figure it out? That’s just what my guest Jen Lefforge did. That is how, at age 46, after a 25-year career, and after raising 3 sons, she took a year off to find out what she wanted to be when she grew up. That grown-up gap year resulted in her current day job as a professional content creator and full-time #YouTuber who makes a living documenting her travels, adventures, and the art of joyful living to her community of more than 80K subscribers!

 

www.youtube.com/joyfullivingwithjenlefforge

 

Too often, as women, we hear that our best years are behind us once we get into our 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond, so I am passionate about telling the stories of women of a big age (as Jen likes to say!)  who are crushing it and doing new and unexpected things.

As women we tend to follow a less linear path, more of what researchers call a Kaleidoscope Career Model (KCM). The kaleidoscope is a perfect metaphor for how we alter our careers in response to changing needs. Whether the need is for authenticity, balance, or ever-changing family needs, we as women are often rotating priorities.

This episode explores the journey and the possibilities that can be ours if we take the time to dig deep, reflect, and take a chance! You don’t want to miss this episode with @jenlefforge

Find the fabulous Jen Lefforge here:

YouTube. Joyful Living with Jen Lefforge www.youtube.com/joyfullivingwithjenlefforge

Website: Jenlefforge.com

Instagram @jenlefforge

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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Reference:

Sullivan, S. E., & Carraher, S. M. (2022). The kaleidoscope career model. In Oxford research encyclopedia of business and management.

Mainiero, L. A., & Gibson, D. E. (2018). The kaleidoscope career model revisited: How midcareer men and women diverge on authenticity, balance, and challenge. Journal of Career Development, 45(4), 361-377

Career Advice From Women of Influence

Too often the advice given to women doesn’t work because it wasn’t designed by or for women. In this episode, we share advice from inspirational women of influence. We break it down and talk about what advice serves us, and what advice…seemingly well-meaning, might lead to unintended consequences.

Should we always give 100% in everything we do? Should we bring our authentic selves always? Should we only do work we love? Maybe, maybe not. #Tunein and we’ll break it all down. With a special guest, the very wise Heather Harris

https://heatherlynnharris.com/

 

Episodes of the Advancing Women Podcast referenced in this episode:

Fear of Failure https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290

Center Coach Create™ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/advice-that-works-for-women-center-coach-create/id1569849100?i=1000641765074

Reference

https://www.bizjournals.com/buffalo/news/2023/07/13/women-of-influence-2023-honorees.html

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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What Autism Moms Need: Empathy & Understanding

Want to know what you can do to show support for your family or friends who have a child with autism? This is the episode for you. April is autism awareness month so here are some things to be aware of.

Research shows that mothers of children with autism have elevated levels of depression and stress levels comparable to the stress levels of active combat soldiers! This episode is about awareness, acknowledgment, empathy, and small ways YOU can show your support. This is what moms of children with autism want people to know, so don’t miss this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast to better understand the experience of autism moms and what you can say and do to show empathy and support.

“No matter how confident we seem, we are scared all the time. No matter how energetic or enthusiastic we seem, we are exhausted all the time. No matter how together we seem, we often feel like we're barely surviving. No matter how easy, we might make it look…it is so freaking hard every day.”

 

Reference:

Twin Cities Mom Collective (March 2022). My Secret World as an Autism Mom. https://twincitiesmom.com/my-secret-world-autism-mom/

Recker, L., & Babcock, E. (2021). Parent/Caregiver Burnout with Autism Due to COVID.

Seltzer, M. M., Greenberg, J. S., Hong, J., Smith, L. E., Almeida, D. M., Coe, C., & Stawski, R. S. (2010). Maternal cortisol levels and behavior problems in adolescents and adults with ASD. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 40(4), 457–469. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-009-0887-0

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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Ideal Leadership: Out of the Darkness

Which leadership traits are ideal and who decides? How important are confidence and assertiveness versus interpersonal sensitivity and empathy?

Are we better off with the relaxed, caring, leader who strives to “do it harmoniously,” or the motivated, inspirational leader who strives to “do it together”? The logical, cautious leader who strives to “do it right,” or the determined, competitive leader who strives to “do it now”?

Which traits are associated with positive outcomes, and which are associated with negative outcomes? Emerging research is showing that it is time to reexamine a broken system that constantly praises traits that can lead to dark leadership,  exploitativeness, and abuse of power.

Is much of the advice we give women to help them advance serving to snuff out the very traits we should be valuing in women AND men?

 #Tunein to this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast to learn more about ideal leadership traits. From the Dark Triad of #narcissism #Machiavellianism and #psychopathy to #emotional intelligence, this episode covers it all!

Previous Advancing Women Podcast Episodes Referenced in this Episode:

Fear of Failure: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290

Tightrope Bias & The Likeability Dilemma: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tightrope-bias-the-likeability-dilemma/id1569849100?i=1000570385546

References

Catalyst. (2020, June 15). Empathy in the Workplace: The Key to Stronger Relationships, Collaboration, and Employee Performance. Retrieved from https://www.catalyst.org/reports/empathy-work-strategy-crisis

Delgado, K. (2021). The dark traits of leadership and how to avoid them. Fast Company.

Furtner, M. R., Maran, T., & Rauthmann, J. F. (Eds.). (2019). Dark Leadership: The Role of Leaders’ Dark Triad Personality Traits. Springer International Publishing.

Nichols, A. L. (2016). What do people desire in their leaders? The effect of leadership experience on desired leadership traits. Leadership & Organization Development Journal, 37(5), 658-671.

Simha, A., & Parboteeah, K. P. (2020). The big 5 personality traits and willingness to justify unethical behavior—a cross-national examination. Journal of Business Ethics, 167, 451-471.

Taylor, S. (2022, March 15). Out of the Darkness. The Danger of Dark Triad Leaders. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-darkness/202203/the-danger-dark-triad-leaders

Agaragimova, E. (2022). Women May Make Better Leaders Than Men: Science Shows Feminine Leadership Qualities. Pew Research Center

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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Silence the Inner Saboteur & Rise Above the Resistance

Do you ever find yourself working on anything and everything but the thing that you should be working on? This episode addresses the inner saboteur and all the things that create resistance and interfere with your creativity and purpose.

 

“Whenever you're feeling bored, bummed, or broken resistance is winning in your life.” ~ Mel Robbins

Resistance is anything that stops you from taking creative action, things like inner fears, negative self-talk, ego, and self-doubt. Resistance has one sole mission: to keep things as they are. To maintain the status quo. Resistance will attempt to stop our creative activity through any means necessary, whether it be rationalizing, inspiring fear and anxiety, emphasizing other distractions that require attention, or raising the voice of our inner critic.

This episode is about managing our ego, silencing the inner saboteur, and honing our humility. It’s about learning to recognize resistance when it creeps into our life so we can rise above it and do the things that lead us to our highest purpose and our best self.

 

Reference:

Joshua J Anderson: https://www.joshuajanderson.com/blog/ego-the-downfall-of-man

Mel Robbins: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Saying-Youre-Fine-Getting/dp/0307716732

Steven Pressfield: https://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Winning-Creative-Battle-audio-cd/dp/1501260626

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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Delivering Big Creativity: Small Steps & Practices

Delivering big creativity starts with small steps and practices you incorporate into your everyday life. Too often we hold back our creative energy because we lack courage, but the truth is connecting to your creativity is connecting to your courage.

Creativity = Courage

Just like any proficiency, creativity is a muscle that needs to be exercised. Developing your creativity starts with the simple act of developing a creative practice that is judgment-free and full of fun.

#tunein to this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast with Creative Warrior Heather Harris and learn to embrace, cultivate, and celebrate your creativity.

Learn more about cultivating your creativity:

https://centercoachcreate.com/courses/e-commerce-course/

https://heatherlynnharris.com/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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Black History Month: Ain't I a Woman?

February is black history month, an annual celebration of achievements by African Americans, and a time for recognizing their central role in U.S. history and, importantly, in the women’s equality movement. African American women have too often been overlooked in the history of our fight for gender equity.

This episode honors and quotes many brilliant, brave, black women who fought to create a fairer and more equitable world. These words have tremendous power and impact including the important work of Kimberlé Crenshaw who coined the phrase intersectionality. Crenshaw simply and poignantly said, "If we aren’t intersectional, some of us, the most vulnerable, are going to fall through the cracks."

This is at the heart of Together We Rise, bringing to the forefront that we must consider all women when we talk about advancing women. As Audra Lord said, “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”

#tunein and celebrate #blackhistorymonth and honor the insights of so many brilliant black women including Sojourner Truth, Shirley Chisholm, Bell Hooks, Pauli Murray, Kimberlé Crenshaw, Rebecca Walker, Audre Lorde, Angela Davis, Dr. Maya Angelou, and more!

References:

Hooks, B. (1981). Ain't I a woman: Black women and feminism. Chicago

Hooks, B. Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. Cambridge, MA :South End Press

 

About Kimberlé Crenshaw https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/5/20/18542843/intersectionality-conservatism-law-race-gender-discrimination

 

 

Sojourner Truth’s Ain’t I A Woman Speech (read by Dr. Maya Angelou) https://youtu.be/mM4JjuQeqDA

 

Truth, S. (Original Speech, 1851) https://thehermitage.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Sojourner-Truth_Aint-I-a-Woman_1851.pdf

 

For more information on Dr. DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast:

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

The Community We Nourish

When you sit with warriors, the conversation is different. The power of sitting with warriors is the impact of those conversations. Too many of us are surrounded by people that will always see us as we are, rather than seeing our potential and growth. We need to nurture the right relationships and build a community of people that we can count on, that give it to us straight, that we trust,  and that have our backs. I'm talking about the people who elevate us and move us toward our best selves and our best lives. #tunein to learn what you can do to create that community. In the new year, we often focus on health and fitness, but maybe it’s time to focus on your social fitness! Conversation and community should equal social support.

Learn more about how a strong group of women in your corner can be a game changer, not just in terms of success and growth, but also for longevity. The right people help us to put things in perspective which helps build our resilience and cope better when things don't go to plan. These relationships can help us to transcend and thrive…but only if we're nurturing the seeds that will bloom and not the weeds.

Resources

America Ferrera Barbie Speech: https://youtu.be/CBqlDWHkdHk?si=C-8_mAEIxf0jlPGC

Advancing Women Podcast  episode #94 Advice that works for Women https://open.spotify.com/episode/6JUelsOcwsPZEmSBLq028y?si=0IPVgRRrQSeArAMT8MEh0A

Center Coach Create™ https://centercoachcreate.com/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

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