Advancing Women Podcast

Create Habits & Systems to Interrupt Bias

“You do not rise to the level of your goals, but you fall to the level of your systems” (James Clear, 2018, Atomic Habits).

It is crucial for us as women who so often encounter unique, unfair barriers while also hearing conflicting advice (not created by or FOR women!) to transcend and thrive by creating intentional, actionable, steps and strategic processes that disrupt the bias and better serve us.

This episode is about creating the clarity we need to be proactive and effective. When we see the patterns of bias in the situation, we can respond in a way that works for women. If you want to hear more about creating the most effective mindset (what you think), skillset (what you know), and toolset (what you do) to take back control and tackle barriers you won’t want to miss this episode!

Resources

https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/tone-policing-vocal-fry-upspeak/id1569849100?i=1000568796565

https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits

For more on the 4 Ps Advancement Model:

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-4-ps-advancement-model-for-women/id1569849100?i=1000580718803

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

 https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

 https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

The Problem with Presenteeism & The Extreme Work Model

If you are ambitious and achievement driven, it can be easy to find yourself in an extreme work model and out of balance especially when #presenteeism and constant availability are often erroneously associated with commitment and drive. This outdated “ideal worker” norm is bad for everyone, men and women, but research shows it can be especially damaging to women’s careers.

Societal norms and expectations continue to perpetuate the idea that being a wife and raising a family is the top priority for women, while career advancement and financial independence are secondary while for men, the opposite is true.

A corporate culture requiring total devotion from all employees, combined with cultural gender norms, ultimately sets the standard for certain workplace behaviors to be seen as worthy of reward.  It has led to the idea of the ideal worker as a present and always available. This model wasn’t designed by or for women and it wasn’t designed for today’s workforce.

There have been many initiatives over the past couple of decades in the workforce aimed at advancing women that have helped when it comes to getting us to the middle, but the extreme work model looms over us creating a barrier to those top positions.

We have to keep this discussion on the forefront because this model doesn’t work for women and even if it is working for men’s advancement.  it isn’t what most men want anymore.  If it is just women pushing back, it won’t change – we need men to also push back because we know it will be better for all of us.

This discussion is all about a mindset shift. We need to ditch the idea that being present and available all the time equals the ideal worker because what it really equals is dissatisfaction, burnout, and a general lack of wellness and happiness.

Reference

DeSimone, K. (2021). Women perceive barriers to corporate advancement as self-imposed. Advancing Women in Leadership Journal, 40(1), 99-107.

Shipman, C., & Kay, K. (2010). Womenomics: Work less, achieve more, live better. New York, NY: Harper.

Previous Podcasts Referenced in This Episode:

Gender Equity = Win-Win https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/gender-equity-win-win/id1569849100?i=1000621456781

The Meritocracy Myth https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-meritocracy-myth/id1569849100?i=1000542761335

Dad’s Don’t Babysit, It’s Called Parenting https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dads-dont-babysit-its-called-parenting/id1569849100?i=1000557163813

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

 https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Gender Equity = Win/Win

This episode focuses on evidence-based, positive outcomes of gender equity for everyone, men, women, children, businesses, and even nations.

A more gender-egalitarian future is one that can improve our lives. It’s a future with a higher potential for more happiness and satisfaction, reduced stress, better health, better marriages, stronger families, and more successful and profitable companies.

Research shows conclusively that the more gender equitable an organization is, the better outcomes are for ALL employees when measured against a host of key indicators from job satisfaction to lower turnover to better recruiting to higher rates of creativity and productivity.

So…instead of thinking about what gender equality  is going to cost (win-lose) we need to start thinking about what gender inequality is already costing us, less happiness, less wellness,  less life satisfaction, and less abundance Gender equity is about more abundance for all (win-win!)

A rising tide lifts all boats, and we can benefit and thrive in a world where we are all afforded our own "pursuit of happiness" unhindered by discriminatory policies, prescriptive social constructs, and gender stereotypes and biases. Let’s talk about how we get there in this week’s episode of the Advancing Women Podcast.

#genderequity #genderequality #hapiness #abundance #worklifebalance

References

Audette, A.P., Lam, S., O’Connor, H. et al. (E)Quality of Life: A Cross-National Analysis of the Effect of Gender Equality on Life Satisfaction. J Happiness Stud 20, 2173–2188 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-018-0042-8

Michael Kimmel: Why gender equality is good for everyone – men included TEDWomen https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_kimmel_why_gender_equality_is_good_for_everyone_men_included?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

Caroline Strachan: Why gender equality is not just about women TEDxFolkestone https://youtu.be/a4WuurpnSbc
 The Invisible Rules: What’s Really Holding Women Back in Business—and How to Fix It (2021) by Holly Catalfamo (Author), Paul Harrietha (Author)

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Let’s Swap Expectations for Requirements

Research shows that expectations can be a major cause of stress, anxiety, and loss of trust and respect in our relationships. This episode challenges the too-common narrative that it is women’s “too high expectations” that cause many of our problems. I introduce a more accurate narrative that serves women by distinguishing expectations(grounded in social norms and stereotypes) from requirements and standards(grounded in our self-esteem and self-care.)

 The real questions we should be asking ourselves as women is not are my expectations and standards too high, but rather, what do I require in my relationships, and why? It is not only acceptable but advisable and healthy to have requirements around how you want or need to be interacted with and treated.

 #tunein and prepare for a mindset shift from expectations to requirements that not only sheds light on the real issue but also interrupts the blame placed on our shoulders so you never feel again that you must lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

 Advancing Women Podcast Episodes Referenced in this Episode:

 Young Men are Opting Out of Marriage and Relationships. Should we Care? (March 2023).

 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/young-men-are-opting-out-of-marriage-and/id1569849100?i=1000604015537

Comparison is the Thief of Joy (May 2023)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy/id1569849100?i=1000612238713

Learn more about The 4 Ps Advancement Model for Women

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

 https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

 https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

 https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Kicking the Over-Apologizing Habit

Do you over-apologize, even when you haven’t done anything wrong? Do you deflect compliments? These are topics that I am asked to speak about often and in this episode, I dig into why we as women over-apologize (hint: It’s not our fault) and what we can do to successfully interrupt this pattern.

Apologizing when we have done something wrong is a real strength, but compulsive apologizing can present as a weakness at work and in personal relationships. Research shows women apologize up to three times more often than men and that we deflect praise in ways that can undermine our success.

Research also shows that as women, our accomplishments are often undervalued, and our mistakes are more noticed and remembered, so we don’t want to apologize unnecessarily or deflect attention from our accomplishments.

This is a practical episode that is all about shifting our mindset and strengthening our toolset. We can develop habits that interrupt the biases and inequities that negatively and disproportionately impact women when we are intentional, mindful, and strategic in our communication. Learn how to shift from subtle undermining habits to habits we can implement daily in small ways that add up.

Reference:

Pantene Ad: Don’t be sorry, shine strong. https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI

The 4 Ps Advancement Model for Women https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

Schumann, K., & Ross, M. (2019). Why women apologize more than men: Gender differences in thresholds for perceiving offensive behavior. Psychological Science, 21(11), 1649-1655.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Two-Year Anniversary Episode: It’s Still Not Your Fault!

Today marks two years since I launched the Advancing Women Podcast. This episode highlights the evidence-based knowledge and awareness of our reality as ambitious women. The very real biases and barriers that can make our journey more difficult. I continue to hold up to the light, call out, and interrupt the narratives around women’s advancement that too often suggest that we are flawed; that it is our not-enoughness that leads to inequity.

This podcast continues to be grounded in the rejection of the false premise that women are defective, flawed, or somehow less fit to lead, advance, or thrive. The fallacy is that if we do all the “developmental” things we would see the inequities melt away. A lie we are constantly fed.

Warriors, we are neither broken, nor defective.  We don’t need to be fixed!

The fix-the-women narrative has too long manifested as best practice advice given to women that does not work because it is recycled, repurposed advice that was not designed by or for women and does not consider the very real, scientifically proven impact of gender bias. Things the ambition penalty, gas lighting, tightrope bias, tug of war bias, prove-it-again bias, and the motherhood penalty.

I started the podcast two years ago as a place where empathy meets pragmatism. Empathy: It's not your fault. Pragmatism: But it is your problem. It’s about correcting both the invisibility and distortion of our real experiences in ways that better serve us. Tune in for strategies that reflect the very real barriers that can make our journey more challenging. It’s about gaining clarity, getting unstuck, and a mindset shift aimed at interrupting the social conditioning that can lead to self-blame and self-doubt.

Join this community of women supporting women. A community that provides unconditional, unjudgmental support, to help you transcend and thrive.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast

Women, Inclusivity, and the Business of Sports with Leah Boyd

In the past few decades, we have seen a steady increase of women entering male-dominated fields, yet they are still finding that the good ole boys’ club persists. Studies show that women working in the business of sports trail all other industries on every dimension of inclusion. Women are expected to prove their competency again, and again, and again, while working tirelessly to “fit in.”

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I am chatting with Leah Boyd; a leader for a global brand focused on sports, and culture that works with many of the biggest professional sports leagues about how to transcend barriers and thrive AUTHENTICALLY.

In the business of sports (and many other businesses) talking sports and being “in the know” regarding the best players, big player moves, and all the stats can add up to some very valuable professional currency. If you have ever felt like the only way to bond with your male peers is to talk sports, and you would rather not, then this is the episode for you! In this episode, we talk about not falling into the trap of gender stereotypes, overcoming Imposter Syndrome, and bridging and bonding tips to help create connections and bond authentically, even in the most male-dominated environments.

It is possible to rewrite the playbook and create inclusive spaces for women to advance and thrive.

Reference:

McKinsey (2023) The Business of Sports and the Quest for Inclusion for Women https://www.mckinsey.com/industries/technology-media-and-telecommunications/our-insights/the-business-of-sports-and-the-quest-for-inclusion-for-women

The Science Behind Why Men Like Sports More https://time.com/4322947/men-women-sports-evolution/

Sports and Men’s Emotions https://www.rc.org/publication/present_time/pt174/pt174_044_ks

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

It happens each time we turn on the tv, or scroll on our favorite social media app, and even when we visit with good friends. As human beings, we are all driven to try to gain an accurate self-assessment of who we are. If we’re not careful, this passive watching (and sometimes judging) of others can subconsciously begin to make us feel like what we have isn’t enough. Who we are and what we have achieved isn’t enough. Or on the flip side of this, we may begin to feel a sense of superiority over others. Whether our self-esteem is inflated or deflated, nothing good comes out of comparison. Our joy,  happiness, and contentment suffer. Our empathy for and connection to others suffer.

In this episode, we talk about Social Comparison Theory (Festinger, 1954) and how we can fall into the trap of valuing our own personal and social worth by assessing how we compare to others. Whether it is an upward or downward comparison, if we allow comparison of others to dictate how we view our own lives it can steal our joy. Comparison is a Kryptonite that often makes us want more while we simultaneously see ourselves as less. Tune in to this episode to learn more about how to ditch comparison and stop allowing it to steal our joy.

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms” ~Zen Shin

Reference:

Podcast episode  referenced in this episode (Fear of Failure)

iTunes/Apple

https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290&l=fr

Podcast episode  referenced in this episode (Toxic Positivity)

https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/toxic-positivity-versus-mental-contrasting/id1569849100?i=1000577719994&l=fr

Podcast episode  referenced in this episode (Glamorizing the Grind)

https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/glamorizing-the-grind-why-overwork-and-burnout-are/id1569849100?i=1000530119596&l=fr

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

How We Talk About Women and Work

Women represent half of the workforce, yet still, it is necessary to call out the subtle and overt ways the narratives surrounding women's contributions in the workforce can serve to reinforce biases.

Too often, discussions on women and work, especially women, in a partnership or marriage suggest that work for women is a "choice" or in some way less important than it is for men. This can perpetuate the bias that men's, careers, and career successes are more important than women's AND that in a partnership women should be the ones to subordinate their careers.

This episode emphasizes the importance of women's workforce contributions. Work outside of the home is essential to women's economic security, and social equality, and to creating a robust and sustainable economy. Research shows that work results in far more than a "pile of paystubs". It can give us a greater sense of purpose and personal fulfillment.

Having a life of our own and enjoying it on our own terms is very important, for every individual. We often see men as entitled to success beyond their families and kids, while at the same we ask if women can "have it all?" Women can absolutely have a life beyond their family and kids, and there's nothing wrong with that, just as men do. Having a sense of self-accomplishment and fulfillment outside of their family is not something that women should have to apologize for.
#Tunein to hear more!

Reference:

Podcast episode referenced in this episode (The Deals We Make)

iTunes/Apple

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-deals-we-make/id1569849100?=1000532205688

Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Mtio2sckpzlkgEgba6Tus?
Si=A4D6rM9UTICjm7iYVXibzg

Crittenden, D. (1999). What our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why
Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman. Simon & Schuster, New York,
NY

The Opt-Out Revolution

https://www.nytimes.com/2003/10/26/magazine/the-opt-out-revolution.html

The Opt-Out Myth

https://archives.cjr.org/essay/the_optout_myth.php

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast:
https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Autism Mom Empathy #autismawarenessmonth

Want to know what you can do to show support for your family or friends who have a child with autism? This is the episode for you. April is autism awareness month so here are some things to be aware of.

Research shows that mothers of children with autism have elevated levels of depression and stress levels comparable to the stress levels of active combat soldiers! This episode is about awareness, acknowledgment, empathy, and small ways YOU can show your support. This is what moms of children with autism want people to know, so don’t miss this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast to better understand the experience of autism moms and what you can say and do to show empathy and support.

“No matter how confident we seem, we are scared all the time. No matter how energetic or enthusiastic we seem, we are exhausted all the time. No matter how together we seem, we often feel like we're barely surviving. No matter how easy, we might make it look…it is so freaking hard every day.”

 

Reference:

Twin Cities Mom Collective (March 2022). My Secret World as an Autism Mom. https://twincitiesmom.com/my-secret-world-autism-mom/

Recker, L., & Babcock, E. (2021). Parent/Caregiver Burnout with Autism Due to COVID.

Seltzer, M. M., Greenberg, J. S., Hong, J., Smith, L. E., Almeida, D. M., Coe, C., & Stawski, R. S. (2010). Maternal cortisol levels and behavior problems in adolescents and adults with ASD. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 40(4), 457–469. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-009-0887-0

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/