Advancing Women Podcast

Two-Year Anniversary Episode: It’s Still Not Your Fault!

Today marks two years since I launched the Advancing Women Podcast. This episode highlights the evidence-based knowledge and awareness of our reality as ambitious women. The very real biases and barriers that can make our journey more difficult. I continue to hold up to the light, call out, and interrupt the narratives around women’s advancement that too often suggest that we are flawed; that it is our not-enoughness that leads to inequity.

This podcast continues to be grounded in the rejection of the false premise that women are defective, flawed, or somehow less fit to lead, advance, or thrive. The fallacy is that if we do all the “developmental” things we would see the inequities melt away. A lie we are constantly fed.

Warriors, we are neither broken, nor defective.  We don’t need to be fixed!

The fix-the-women narrative has too long manifested as best practice advice given to women that does not work because it is recycled, repurposed advice that was not designed by or for women and does not consider the very real, scientifically proven impact of gender bias. Things the ambition penalty, gas lighting, tightrope bias, tug of war bias, prove-it-again bias, and the motherhood penalty.

I started the podcast two years ago as a place where empathy meets pragmatism. Empathy: It's not your fault. Pragmatism: But it is your problem. It’s about correcting both the invisibility and distortion of our real experiences in ways that better serve us. Tune in for strategies that reflect the very real barriers that can make our journey more challenging. It’s about gaining clarity, getting unstuck, and a mindset shift aimed at interrupting the social conditioning that can lead to self-blame and self-doubt.

Join this community of women supporting women. A community that provides unconditional, unjudgmental support, to help you transcend and thrive.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast

Women, Inclusivity, and the Business of Sports with Leah Boyd

In the past few decades, we have seen a steady increase of women entering male-dominated fields, yet they are still finding that the good ole boys’ club persists. Studies show that women working in the business of sports trail all other industries on every dimension of inclusion. Women are expected to prove their competency again, and again, and again, while working tirelessly to “fit in.”

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I am chatting with Leah Boyd; a leader for a global brand focused on sports, and culture that works with many of the biggest professional sports leagues about how to transcend barriers and thrive AUTHENTICALLY.

In the business of sports (and many other businesses) talking sports and being “in the know” regarding the best players, big player moves, and all the stats can add up to some very valuable professional currency. If you have ever felt like the only way to bond with your male peers is to talk sports, and you would rather not, then this is the episode for you! In this episode, we talk about not falling into the trap of gender stereotypes, overcoming Imposter Syndrome, and bridging and bonding tips to help create connections and bond authentically, even in the most male-dominated environments.

It is possible to rewrite the playbook and create inclusive spaces for women to advance and thrive.

Reference:

McKinsey (2023) The Business of Sports and the Quest for Inclusion for Women https://www.mckinsey.com/industries/technology-media-and-telecommunications/our-insights/the-business-of-sports-and-the-quest-for-inclusion-for-women

The Science Behind Why Men Like Sports More https://time.com/4322947/men-women-sports-evolution/

Sports and Men’s Emotions https://www.rc.org/publication/present_time/pt174/pt174_044_ks

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

It happens each time we turn on the tv, or scroll on our favorite social media app, and even when we visit with good friends. As human beings, we are all driven to try to gain an accurate self-assessment of who we are. If we’re not careful, this passive watching (and sometimes judging) of others can subconsciously begin to make us feel like what we have isn’t enough. Who we are and what we have achieved isn’t enough. Or on the flip side of this, we may begin to feel a sense of superiority over others. Whether our self-esteem is inflated or deflated, nothing good comes out of comparison. Our joy,  happiness, and contentment suffer. Our empathy for and connection to others suffer.

In this episode, we talk about Social Comparison Theory (Festinger, 1954) and how we can fall into the trap of valuing our own personal and social worth by assessing how we compare to others. Whether it is an upward or downward comparison, if we allow comparison of others to dictate how we view our own lives it can steal our joy. Comparison is a Kryptonite that often makes us want more while we simultaneously see ourselves as less. Tune in to this episode to learn more about how to ditch comparison and stop allowing it to steal our joy.

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms” ~Zen Shin

Reference:

Podcast episode  referenced in this episode (Fear of Failure)

iTunes/Apple

https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290&l=fr

Podcast episode  referenced in this episode (Toxic Positivity)

https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/toxic-positivity-versus-mental-contrasting/id1569849100?i=1000577719994&l=fr

Podcast episode  referenced in this episode (Glamorizing the Grind)

https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/glamorizing-the-grind-why-overwork-and-burnout-are/id1569849100?i=1000530119596&l=fr

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

How We Talk About Women and Work

Women represent half of the workforce, yet still, it is necessary to call out the subtle and overt ways the narratives surrounding women's contributions in the workforce can serve to reinforce biases.

Too often, discussions on women and work, especially women, in a partnership or marriage suggest that work for women is a "choice" or in some way less important than it is for men. This can perpetuate the bias that men's, careers, and career successes are more important than women's AND that in a partnership women should be the ones to subordinate their careers.

This episode emphasizes the importance of women's workforce contributions. Work outside of the home is essential to women's economic security, and social equality, and to creating a robust and sustainable economy. Research shows that work results in far more than a "pile of paystubs". It can give us a greater sense of purpose and personal fulfillment.

Having a life of our own and enjoying it on our own terms is very important, for every individual. We often see men as entitled to success beyond their families and kids, while at the same we ask if women can "have it all?" Women can absolutely have a life beyond their family and kids, and there's nothing wrong with that, just as men do. Having a sense of self-accomplishment and fulfillment outside of their family is not something that women should have to apologize for.
#Tunein to hear more!

Reference:

Podcast episode referenced in this episode (The Deals We Make)

iTunes/Apple

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-deals-we-make/id1569849100?=1000532205688

Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Mtio2sckpzlkgEgba6Tus?
Si=A4D6rM9UTICjm7iYVXibzg

Crittenden, D. (1999). What our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why
Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman. Simon & Schuster, New York,
NY

The Opt-Out Revolution

https://www.nytimes.com/2003/10/26/magazine/the-opt-out-revolution.html

The Opt-Out Myth

https://archives.cjr.org/essay/the_optout_myth.php

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast:
https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Autism Mom Empathy #autismawarenessmonth

Want to know what you can do to show support for your family or friends who have a child with autism? This is the episode for you. April is autism awareness month so here are some things to be aware of.

Research shows that mothers of children with autism have elevated levels of depression and stress levels comparable to the stress levels of active combat soldiers! This episode is about awareness, acknowledgment, empathy, and small ways YOU can show your support. This is what moms of children with autism want people to know, so don’t miss this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast to better understand the experience of autism moms and what you can say and do to show empathy and support.

“No matter how confident we seem, we are scared all the time. No matter how energetic or enthusiastic we seem, we are exhausted all the time. No matter how together we seem, we often feel like we're barely surviving. No matter how easy, we might make it look…it is so freaking hard every day.”

 

Reference:

Twin Cities Mom Collective (March 2022). My Secret World as an Autism Mom. https://twincitiesmom.com/my-secret-world-autism-mom/

Recker, L., & Babcock, E. (2021). Parent/Caregiver Burnout with Autism Due to COVID.

Seltzer, M. M., Greenberg, J. S., Hong, J., Smith, L. E., Almeida, D. M., Coe, C., & Stawski, R. S. (2010). Maternal cortisol levels and behavior problems in adolescents and adults with ASD. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 40(4), 457–469. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-009-0887-0

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Don’t Call Them Soft Skills With Communications Strategist Anna Bulszewicz

“It is no longer reasonable or appropriate to identify everyday communication skills or people skills as soft skills. In a post-pandemic world, leaders, managers, and teammates must trailblaze with empathy and strong emotional intelligence or lose out.” (AMC)

Tune in for this pragmatic interview on mindful communication with communications strategist Anna Bulszewicz. After working for nearly 20 years in corporate, the media, and academia, Anna helps leaders and businesses implement mindful communication practices that increase emotional, quotient and generate successful business communities. In this episode, she shares incredible insight and some useful tips you won’t want to miss. It’s all about communication, community, and connection.

Let’s stop calling communication skills and emotional intelligence “soft skills.” These are ESSENTIAL skills that women tend to be exceptionally good at, so let’s make sure we are acknowledging, honing, utilizing, and touting these super skills!

 

Podcast referenced in this episode (Let’s teach girls bravery and teach boys empathy)

iTunes/Apple https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/lets-teach-girls-bravery-and-teach-boys-empathy/id1569849100?i=1000576175167

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/10oW7FgzU65qrJ5JAsMDrc?si=gCQUw6hxR7GtYpP_f1r2TA

For more info on Anna Bulszewicz and Anna Michele Communications (AMC):

Website: https://www.annamcommunications.com/

Blog: https://www.annamcommunications.com/blog/woman

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annabulszewicz/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Young Men are Opting Out of Marriage and Relationships. Should we Care?

A recent Pew Research Center report is gaining a lot of attention in the media. The study found that  30 percent of U.S. adults are neither married, living with a partner, nor engaged in a committed relationship and nearly half of all young adults are single. Here’s what is surprising, 34 percent of women, and a whopping 63 percent of men are single.

Why are so many young men shying from marriage or even dating? Are younger men getting lazier or more selfish? Are young women getting choosier or more demanding? Find out what is going on and why it is definitely NOT our fault as women, but also (hot take here) – not our problem.

In this episode, we address cultural shifts in the meaning of wife and what that means in terms of relationship expectations, sex, dating, marriage, and commitment.

Reference

The Meaning of Wife: A Provocative Look at Women and Marriage in the Twenty-first Century by Anne Kingston (Author)

Pew Research Center Report: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-share-of-u-s-adults-are-living-without-a-spouse-or-partner/

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/

https://ca.style.yahoo.com/expert-says-marriage-makes-men-happier-than-women-092140705.html

https://heragenda.com/p/this-is-why-men-benefit-from-marriage-more-than-women/

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/videos/2019-07-04/-happiness-expert-on-love-and-marriage-video

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

 

Black Women’s Voices in The Women’s Rights Movement

February is black history month, an annual celebration of achievements by African Americans, and a time for recognizing their central role in U.S. history. African American women have too often been overlooked in the history of our fight for gender equity. The struggle against racism, sexism, and all other-isms. All must be addressed simultaneously.

This episode honors and quotes many brilliant, brave, black women who fought and fight, to create a fairer and more equitable world.

Don’t miss this episode with the wisdom and inspiration of so many brilliant black women who have provided so much wisdom. These words have tremendous power and impact like the important work of Kimberlé Crenshaw who coined the phrase intersectionality. Crenshaw simply and poignantly said, "If we aren’t intersectional, some of us, the most vulnerable, are going to fall through the cracks."

This is at the heart of together we rise, bringing to the forefront that we must consider layers of oppression when we talk about advancing ALL women. As Audra Lord said, “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”

Celebrate black history month and honor the many insights of so many brilliant black women including Sojourner Truth, Shirley Chisholm, Bell Hooks, Pauli Murray, Kimberlé Crenshaw, Audre Lorde, Angela Davis, Dr. Maya Angelou and more!

 

References:

Hooks, B. (1981). Ain't I a woman: Black women and feminism. Chicago

Hooks, B. Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. Cambridge, MA :South End Press

About Kimberlé Crenshaw https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/5/20/18542843/intersectionality-conservatism-law-race-gender-discrimination

Sojourner Truth’s Ain’t I A Woman Speech (read by Dr. Maya Angelou) https://youtu.be/mM4JjuQeqDA

Truth, S. (Original Speech, 1851) https://thehermitage.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Sojourner-Truth_Aint-I-a-Woman_1851.pdf

For more information on Dr. DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast:

Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

 

Fashion Should Be Fun for EveryBODY, Talking Body Positivity With Veronica Freund

Fashion is one of the most visible ways we express ourselves, yet too often we feel compelled to choose what is most flattering. We choose clothing that shrinks us or “sucks us in” versus what makes us feel joyful. Fashion should NOT just be for some, we should all be comfortable and confident enough to enjoy fashion, but that requires dismantling the negative external messaging around women’s bodies, perfection, and who is “deserving” of fashion.

Increasingly there is a movement to make fashion more inclusive. This episode of the Advancing Women Podcast with fashion, lifestyle, and body positivity influencer and content creator Veronica Freund explores positive body image, body neutrality, and learning to love ourselves enough right where we are now. As Veronica says, we need to “Stop waiting to be this “perfect version” of yourself to truly start living your life.”

In this episode, we explore dopamine dressing and enclothes cognition (how what we wear impacts how we feel!) because research shows that fashion looks better when you feel good on the inside, but you can also feel better on the inside when you love how you look on the outside. So, let's not wait to be a certain weight to enjoy fashion. All of us warrior women deserve to step into our power and feel fashionable and confident in clothing that makes us feel playful, sexy, and beautiful at any size.

Resources:

To learn more about Veronica:

https://veronicafreund.com/

https://www.tiktok.com/@veronicafreund

https://www.instagram.com/veronica_freund87/

https://twitter.com/veronica_freund

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Authentic Branding with Pamela Long from Little Big Brands

With the super bowl approaching many of us are going to be thinking about and talking about the ads. Recent studies show that despite an increased cultural focus on equality and empowerment movements, women report feeling that major brands are still not effectively acknowledging women’s priorities or communicating with women in an empowering or authentic manner.

This conversation is about more than entertainment. It's about continuing to challenge a media industry, organizations, and brands that too often misrepresent women, distort women’s experiences, and speak inauthentically to women. We are joined in this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast by Pamela Long, Partner at Little Big Brands, a brand strategy and design firm to talk about the importance of “speaking to women, understanding what they want, what motivates them, and how they want to be portrayed.”

We have to demand more! Marketing and the media play a major role in how women and girls see themselves, so we must continue to challenge unrealistic portrayals and misrepresentations and champion authentic representation. We deserve better!

Learn more about Pamela and Little Big Brands here:

https://www.littlebigbrands.com/

https://www.instagram.com/littlebigbrands/

https://www.facebook.com/littlebigbrands

https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelalongatlittlebig/

 

Learn more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast:

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/