Advancing Women Podcast

Less Hustle & Grind, More Alignment & Balance

Too often culturally we glorify the hustle and grind. The truth is though, we all pay a price for overwork including stress, burnout, and less healthy emotional well-being. Especially for women.

This episode of the #advancingwomenpodcast addresses the extreme work model, presenteeism, and a 24/7 work culture where high intensity is the norm, where everything is an emergency, and where every problem is critical. A culture of constant accessibility and availability has become the productivity standard. But is it necessary? If you want less #hustle and #grind and more #balanced and #alignment then this is the episode for you! #tunein

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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What Mansplaining IS and What It Is NOT (And How to Make It Stop!)

Mansplaining is more than condescension or interrupting, it’s where condescension intersects with power and privilege. Mansplaining is a condescending explanation by members of socially, culturally, or legally privileged groups in their interactions with those who don’t hold the same power and privilege.

In this episode, we deconstruct Androcentric Bias (the assumption that the male view is the norm or default), and Androcentrism (the tendency to center society around men’s needs and priorities).

This episode addresses where mansplaining is most prevalent (which domains) and provides some new solutions to a tiresome old problem.  It’s also a great episode for male allies who may be asking; how do I recognize mansplaining so I can be an upstander? #tunein

Episodes referenced in this episode:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tightrope-bias-the-likeability-dilemma/id1569849100?i=1000570385546

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/second-generation-gender-bias/id1569849100?i=1000524554582

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

 https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Additional References:

Mansplaining Explained in One Chart: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

Am I Mansplaining Chart? https://images.app.goo.gl/XxbgA6JBbBYjwosF6

Kaplan, S. (2019). Mansplaining: New solutions to a tiresome old problem. The Conversation Online: https://theconversation.com/mansplaining-new-solutions-to-a-tiresome-old-problem-120400

Bailey, A. H., LaFrance, M., & Dovidio, J. F. (2019). Is man the measure of all things? A social cognitive account of androcentrism. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 23(4), 307-331.

When and HOW to Say NO. Setting Boundaries in Work and in Life!

Too often we as women take on an unfair share of responsibilities and then are blamed for saying yes to every request when we are too busy and feel overwhelmed. But… if we don’t do it, who will? This episode  demystifies why it is so difficult for us as women to say no (hint: it’s not your fault, but it is your problem!)

I explore with compassion (and a lot of evidence) why saying no, while difficult for many people, can be especially difficult for women. I address the very real patterns of bias, social norms, and expectations that contribute to why women often find saying no so challenging AND we go beyond the why and into the how.

 

Want to know how to create healthy boundaries,  control our own narratives, and take back authority over our time and well-being?  Then #tunein You won’t want to miss this one!

 

Episodes referenced in this episode:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kicking-the-over-apologizing-habit/id1569849100?i=1000617617515

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-year-anniversary-episode-its-still-not-your-fault/id1569849100?i=1000615774652

 

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

 

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

 

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

The Paradox of Meritocracy

Can meritocracy make things fairer? Does it level the playing field?

A meritocracy is a system where power and advancement are granted to individuals based solely on talent, effort, ability, and achievement. That we will be evaluated based solely on performance as measured through objective criteria and demonstrated achievement.

The problem is the premise of meritocracy. The assumption is that evaluations in the workforce are objective, despite research and knowledge that we as human beings, social beings with different experiences, are incapable of being completely objective. So then, if we know that, we should be more realistic about the limitations of meritocracy principles in organizations.

Indeed, research overwhelmingly confirms that much of our evaluation in hiring and promoting is NOT based on purely objective criteria, despite our utopian belief and desire for this to be the case.

So, this episode of the #advancingwomenpodcast holds the idea of meritocracy and women’s advancement up the scrutiny of the scientific knowledge of human behavior, biases, and blind spots, as well as the erroneous assumptions that guide meritocratic ideologies which ultimately serve to hinder women’s advancement. #tunein

References

Staniscuaski, F. (2023). The science meritocracy myth devalues women. Science, 379(6639), 1308-1308.

van Dijk, H., Kooij, D., Karanika-Murray, M., De Vos, A., & Meyer, B. (2020). Meritocracy a myth? A multilevel perspective of how social inequality accumulates through work. Organizational Psychology Review, 10(3-4), 240-269.

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2021/01/the-myth-of-meritocracy-according-to-michael-sandel/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

 https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

 https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

The Power of Positive Affirmations: Sitting with Warriors

If you think positive affirmations are a touchy-feely approach to dealing with bias and inequity, think again!

Research shows that positive affirmations are an excellent way to combat negative messaging and positively impact our thoughts and actions. Positive affirmations help us to disrupt negative thinking (that often comes from gender bias that is not our fault but is our problem) and help re-wire our brains for positive thoughts. Women in society, especially in the world of social media, are fed a steady diet of “not enoughness”, but guess what? You ARE  enough, you HAVE enough, and you DO enough (That’s one of many affirmations we’ll be discussing in this episode!)

The best anecdote to negative energy…the best way to interrupt external and internal negative talk… is creating a practice of positive affirmations. With practice, eventually, positive thought patterns appear and interrupt negative thoughts AND those good thoughts then affect your actions.

I often say on the Advancing Women Podcast, that when you sit with warriors the conversation is different and, in this episode, I sit with warriors and we share, and discuss some of our favorite (most impactful) positive affirmations.

 

References

https://dannysessays.com/

Addison Road “This Little Light of Mine”

 

https://youtu.be/CVeB7ACVgO0

 

Hebrews 11:1  

 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy/id1569849100?i=1000612238713

 

https://planetsark.com/yes-to-more-selflove-for-you/

Cingel, D. P., Carter, M. C., & Krause, H. V. (2022). Social media and self-esteem. Current Opinion in Psychology, 45, 101304.

https://www.headwayclinic.ca/4-benefits-positive-affirmations/

 

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

ttps://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Create Habits & Systems to Interrupt Bias

“You do not rise to the level of your goals, but you fall to the level of your systems” (James Clear, 2018, Atomic Habits).

It is crucial for us as women who so often encounter unique, unfair barriers while also hearing conflicting advice (not created by or FOR women!) to transcend and thrive by creating intentional, actionable, steps and strategic processes that disrupt the bias and better serve us.

This episode is about creating the clarity we need to be proactive and effective. When we see the patterns of bias in the situation, we can respond in a way that works for women. If you want to hear more about creating the most effective mindset (what you think), skillset (what you know), and toolset (what you do) to take back control and tackle barriers you won’t want to miss this episode!

Resources

https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/tone-policing-vocal-fry-upspeak/id1569849100?i=1000568796565

https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits

For more on the 4 Ps Advancement Model:

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-4-ps-advancement-model-for-women/id1569849100?i=1000580718803

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

 https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

 https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

The Problem with Presenteeism & The Extreme Work Model

If you are ambitious and achievement driven, it can be easy to find yourself in an extreme work model and out of balance especially when #presenteeism and constant availability are often erroneously associated with commitment and drive. This outdated “ideal worker” norm is bad for everyone, men and women, but research shows it can be especially damaging to women’s careers.

Societal norms and expectations continue to perpetuate the idea that being a wife and raising a family is the top priority for women, while career advancement and financial independence are secondary while for men, the opposite is true.

A corporate culture requiring total devotion from all employees, combined with cultural gender norms, ultimately sets the standard for certain workplace behaviors to be seen as worthy of reward.  It has led to the idea of the ideal worker as a present and always available. This model wasn’t designed by or for women and it wasn’t designed for today’s workforce.

There have been many initiatives over the past couple of decades in the workforce aimed at advancing women that have helped when it comes to getting us to the middle, but the extreme work model looms over us creating a barrier to those top positions.

We have to keep this discussion on the forefront because this model doesn’t work for women and even if it is working for men’s advancement.  it isn’t what most men want anymore.  If it is just women pushing back, it won’t change – we need men to also push back because we know it will be better for all of us.

This discussion is all about a mindset shift. We need to ditch the idea that being present and available all the time equals the ideal worker because what it really equals is dissatisfaction, burnout, and a general lack of wellness and happiness.

Reference

DeSimone, K. (2021). Women perceive barriers to corporate advancement as self-imposed. Advancing Women in Leadership Journal, 40(1), 99-107.

Shipman, C., & Kay, K. (2010). Womenomics: Work less, achieve more, live better. New York, NY: Harper.

Previous Podcasts Referenced in This Episode:

Gender Equity = Win-Win https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/gender-equity-win-win/id1569849100?i=1000621456781

The Meritocracy Myth https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-meritocracy-myth/id1569849100?i=1000542761335

Dad’s Don’t Babysit, It’s Called Parenting https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dads-dont-babysit-its-called-parenting/id1569849100?i=1000557163813

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

 https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Gender Equity = Win/Win

This episode focuses on evidence-based, positive outcomes of gender equity for everyone, men, women, children, businesses, and even nations.

A more gender-egalitarian future is one that can improve our lives. It’s a future with a higher potential for more happiness and satisfaction, reduced stress, better health, better marriages, stronger families, and more successful and profitable companies.

Research shows conclusively that the more gender equitable an organization is, the better outcomes are for ALL employees when measured against a host of key indicators from job satisfaction to lower turnover to better recruiting to higher rates of creativity and productivity.

So…instead of thinking about what gender equality  is going to cost (win-lose) we need to start thinking about what gender inequality is already costing us, less happiness, less wellness,  less life satisfaction, and less abundance Gender equity is about more abundance for all (win-win!)

A rising tide lifts all boats, and we can benefit and thrive in a world where we are all afforded our own "pursuit of happiness" unhindered by discriminatory policies, prescriptive social constructs, and gender stereotypes and biases. Let’s talk about how we get there in this week’s episode of the Advancing Women Podcast.

#genderequity #genderequality #hapiness #abundance #worklifebalance

References

Audette, A.P., Lam, S., O’Connor, H. et al. (E)Quality of Life: A Cross-National Analysis of the Effect of Gender Equality on Life Satisfaction. J Happiness Stud 20, 2173–2188 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-018-0042-8

Michael Kimmel: Why gender equality is good for everyone – men included TEDWomen https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_kimmel_why_gender_equality_is_good_for_everyone_men_included?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

Caroline Strachan: Why gender equality is not just about women TEDxFolkestone https://youtu.be/a4WuurpnSbc
 The Invisible Rules: What’s Really Holding Women Back in Business—and How to Fix It (2021) by Holly Catalfamo (Author), Paul Harrietha (Author)

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

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Let’s Swap Expectations for Requirements

Research shows that expectations can be a major cause of stress, anxiety, and loss of trust and respect in our relationships. This episode challenges the too-common narrative that it is women’s “too high expectations” that cause many of our problems. I introduce a more accurate narrative that serves women by distinguishing expectations(grounded in social norms and stereotypes) from requirements and standards(grounded in our self-esteem and self-care.)

 The real questions we should be asking ourselves as women is not are my expectations and standards too high, but rather, what do I require in my relationships, and why? It is not only acceptable but advisable and healthy to have requirements around how you want or need to be interacted with and treated.

 #tunein and prepare for a mindset shift from expectations to requirements that not only sheds light on the real issue but also interrupts the blame placed on our shoulders so you never feel again that you must lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

 Advancing Women Podcast Episodes Referenced in this Episode:

 Young Men are Opting Out of Marriage and Relationships. Should we Care? (March 2023).

 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/young-men-are-opting-out-of-marriage-and/id1569849100?i=1000604015537

Comparison is the Thief of Joy (May 2023)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy/id1569849100?i=1000612238713

Learn more about The 4 Ps Advancement Model for Women

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

 https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

 https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

 https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Kicking the Over-Apologizing Habit

Do you over-apologize, even when you haven’t done anything wrong? Do you deflect compliments? These are topics that I am asked to speak about often and in this episode, I dig into why we as women over-apologize (hint: It’s not our fault) and what we can do to successfully interrupt this pattern.

Apologizing when we have done something wrong is a real strength, but compulsive apologizing can present as a weakness at work and in personal relationships. Research shows women apologize up to three times more often than men and that we deflect praise in ways that can undermine our success.

Research also shows that as women, our accomplishments are often undervalued, and our mistakes are more noticed and remembered, so we don’t want to apologize unnecessarily or deflect attention from our accomplishments.

This is a practical episode that is all about shifting our mindset and strengthening our toolset. We can develop habits that interrupt the biases and inequities that negatively and disproportionately impact women when we are intentional, mindful, and strategic in our communication. Learn how to shift from subtle undermining habits to habits we can implement daily in small ways that add up.

Reference:

Pantene Ad: Don’t be sorry, shine strong. https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI

The 4 Ps Advancement Model for Women https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

Schumann, K., & Ross, M. (2019). Why women apologize more than men: Gender differences in thresholds for perceiving offensive behavior. Psychological Science, 21(11), 1649-1655.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/