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Welcome to the Advancing Women Podcast where ambitious women come together to challenge the status quo, advance their careers, and up-level their lives. The Advancing Women Podcast is hosted by Gender Equity Expert and Executive Coach Dr. Kimberly DeSimone.
Episodes
Monday Sep 22, 2025
Monday Sep 22, 2025
But here’s the truth: not all feedback is created equal. And far too often, what women receive isn’t feedback at all. It’s bias dressed up as “constructive criticism.”
In this episode, we’re tackling a common but often invisible challenge in professional and personal life: feedback that masquerades as growth but is actually bias. We explore how women frequently receive critiques that focus on personality, style, or likability rather than skills or outcomes. Feedback that can drain energy, reinforce double standards, and perpetuate gender bias.
Finally, I share strategies for reframing and resisting biased feedback, so you can protect your confidence and focus on growth that truly matters. If you’ve ever felt like you’re working twice as hard to fix things that were never broken, this episode is for you.
Key Topics Covered:
- Feedback vs. bias: How to tell the difference
- Competence vs. likability: The damned-if-you-do, doomed-if-you-don’t bind
- Joan Williams’ prove-it-again bias and its impact on women’s careers
- Vocal fry, uptalk, and other examples of style policing as bias
- Practical strategies: reframing biased feedback and pushing back with questions
Manifestatement (Key Takeaway): Biased feedback is not your personal deficit. You are neither broken, nor defective. By reframing and resisting, we reclaim our power, keep the focus on outcomes, and push toward greater equity.
Resources & References:
Williams, J. C., & Dempsey, R. (2014). What works for women at work: Four patterns working women need to know. New York University Press.
Previous Advancing Women Podcast Episode:
Tone Policing, Vocal Fry, & Upspeak (4/7/22) https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/tone-policing-vocal-fry-upspeak/id1569849100?i=1000568796565
TikTok trend example (Is a “top-tier” man just an average woman?) https://www.facebook.com/share/v/17XnA2v6E3/
Let’s Connect:
Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en
Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/
Monday Sep 08, 2025
Monday Sep 08, 2025
Episode Summary:
What can a pack of African painted dogs teach us about leadership and gender equity? A lot more than you might think.
On a recent Disney trip with my son, I hopped on my favorite ride - Kilimanjaro Safari -in one of my favorite parks – Animal Kingdom, and our guide, Kyla, shared something that really caught my attention: painted dogs are the most successful hunters in the animal kingdom with an incredible 85% success rate. Compare that to the so-called “King of the Jungle,” the lion, who is successful only about 20% of the time.
The difference? Not brute force. Not dominance. Not confidence.
The painted dogs’ secret is collaboration. They succeed because an alpha male and alpha female lead together, backed by the entire pack.
In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we explore:
- Why win/win beats win/lose in leadership and equity.
- The hidden strengths that are too often overlooked and undervalued.
- How McKinsey research proves diverse, collaborative leadership outperforms.
- The importance of communal traits like empathy, compassion, and collaboration.
- Why the future of leadership looks a lot less like lions, and a lot more like painted dogs.
This episode is a reminder that leadership and equity aren’t about fighting for the biggest piece of the pie. it’s about ditching the scarcity mindset in favor of abundance. Win/Win!
If you lead a team, an organization, or even your own family, this episode will challenge you to rethink leadership and equity, not as competition, but as collaboration. #tunein and discover why the case for gender equity is really the case for better leadership for everyone.
References:
🎧 Advancing Women Podcast (2023, July 17). Gender Equity = Win/Win
Listen here
📊 Hunt, V., Prince, S., Dixon-Fyle, S., & Yee, L. (2020). Diversity Wins: How Inclusion Matters. McKinsey & Company.
Read here
📖 Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Free Press. (See Habit #4: Think Win-Win)
Let’s Connect:
Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast
Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast
LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone
Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share the podcast!
Monday Aug 25, 2025
Monday Aug 25, 2025
A few years ago, we explored The Art and Agony of No—one of the most popular episodes in the Advancing Women Podcast archive. In this episode, we revisit that topic and dig deeper into why saying no feels so agonizing for women, especially in professional and personal contexts. From social conditioning and workplace biases to household expectations, we explore the forces that keep women overcommitted and undervalued.
Using research, real stories, and practical strategies, we discuss:
- The concept of non-promotable work and why women are asked to do it more often—and why we say yes.
- How prove-it-again and tightrope biases make saying no feel risky.
- The transformative story of the No Club, a collective approach to saying no strategically and confidently.
- Actionable ways to start protecting your time, energy, and opportunities, both at work and at home.
- A cultural reflection inspired by the movie 9 to 5, showing how little has changed in the fight for workplace balance.
Key Takeaways / Manifestatement:
Your time, your energy, your brilliance are precious. Saying no protects them. This episode is about being intentional, reclaiming your boundaries, and understanding that every no is a doorway to your best yes.
Action Steps for Listeners:
- Start Your Own No Club: Set a goal for how many requests you’ll decline this week or month.
- Keep a Log: Track your nos to notice patterns and normalize boundary-setting.
- Share Your Practice: Encourage friends, colleagues, and family that saying no is strategic, not selfish.
Episode referenced in this episode: The Art and Agony of Saying NO! (8/2/2021) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-and-agony-of-saying-no/id1569849100?i=1000530813744
Tuesday Aug 12, 2025
Tuesday Aug 12, 2025
Episode Summary: From middle school cliques to corporate boardrooms, patterns of competition, division, and survival strategies among women persist. Here’s the thing though: this isn’t about a flaw in women; it’s about a flawed system. In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we explore the rise of Queen Bee Syndrome and the "Pick-Me" phenomenon, and what pop culture, psychology, and gender bias research reveal about why these patterns exist, and how we can challenge them.
We dig deep into:
- The cultural roots of Queen Bee and Pick-Me behaviors
- Internalized sexism, patriarchal bargaining, and the male gaze
- The myth of women as each other’s worst enemy
- Strategies to disrupt toxic narratives and build true solidarity
It’s time to move from scarcity to solidarity, from competition to coalition—and rewrite the narrative with the persisterhood at the center.
Key Takeaways:
- “Pick-Me” behavior isn't vanity, it’s often survival in biased systems.
- Queen Bee Syndrome isn't about women being mean, it's about navigating tokenism and structural barriers.
- Internalized sexism and societal “shoulds” fuel division.
- Systemic bias, NOT women, is the root issue.
- Solidarity is the antidote to scarcity.
Call to Action: Let’s stop shaming Queen Bees and Pick-Me girls and start fixing the systems that pit women against each other. Let’s write a new chapter grounded in persisterhood, because together, we rise further.
References
AWP Episode referenced in this episode: Tug of War Bias, Tokenism & Queen Bee Syndrome. https://open.spotify.com/episode/75MiOAvyhFje37sDd9Latc?si=RBUK5seNRUa5-6VOZIW8Yw
Rhimes, S. (Writer), & Corn, R. (Director). (2005, May 22). Losing My Religion (Season 2, Episode 27) [TV series episode]. In S. Rhimes (Executive Producer), Grey’s Anatomy. ABC Studios (This is the episode featuring Meredith Grey’s “Pick me. Choose me. Love me.” Speech).
TikTok. (n.d.). #pickmegirl. Retrieved August 6, 2025, from https://www.tiktok.com/tag/pickmegirl
Brown, A. (2023). The Implications of the Queen Bee Phenomenon in the Workplace. Journal of Organizational Culture Communications and Conflict, 27(1).
Wiseman, R. (2002). Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends, and the new realities of girl world. Crown Publishing Group.
Rudman LA, Goodwin SA. Gender differences in automatic in-group bias: why do women like women more than men like men? J Pers Soc Psychol. 2023, 87(4):494-509. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.87.4.494. PMID: 15491274
Rubin, M., Owuamalam, C. K., Spears, R., & Caricati, L. (2023). A social identity model of system attitudes (SIMSA): Multiple explanations of system justification by the disadvantaged that do not depend on a separate system justification motive. European Review of Social Psychology, 34(2), 203–243 https://doi.org/10.1080/10463283.2022.2046422
Let’s Connect @AdvancingWomenPodcast
Subscribe, rate, and share the podcast!
Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
& Facebook https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
More on Dr. DeSimone here! https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/
Monday Jul 28, 2025
Monday Jul 28, 2025
We’ve all heard the story of Adam and Eve. The so-called “first sin,” the disobedience, the downfall. But what if we’ve been reading it wrong? What if this ancient story isn’t about the first sinner…but the first failed leader?
In this episode, leadership scholar and host Dr. Kimberly DeSimone challenges centuries of patriarchal interpretation by reframing the Genesis narrative through the lens of modern, evidence-based leadership theory. From blame-shifting to moral cowardice, we explore how Adam’s behavior maps onto core leadership failures across five foundational models: Transformational, Servant, Authentic, Adaptive, and Ethical Leadership.
We also examine the enduring harm caused by reading Eve as the source of sin—a misreading that has fueled generations of bias, blame, and the marginalization of women. With insight from feminist and womanist scholars like Phyllis Trible, Renita Weems, and Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza, this episode is a powerful call to reclaim sacred texts in ways that center accountability, equity, and truth.
Key Topics Covered:
- Re-examining Genesis 2–3: What the Bible actually says vs. how it’s been taught
- How Adam failed as a leader, not just as a man of faith
- Applying 5 modern leadership theories to the Eden narrative
- The damaging legacy of blaming Eve—and by extension, women—for failure
- The power of feminist biblical interpretation and why it matters
- How reclaiming this story can lead to more just and equitable leadership today
Biblical References:
Genesis 2:16–17, 2:22, 3:6, 3:12
(The Holy Bible, New Revised Standard Version. Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA, 1989.)
Scholars & Thought Leaders:
Trible, P. (1984). Texts of Terror
Trible, P. (1978). God and the Rhetoric of Sexuality
Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza – In Memory of Her (1983)
Renita J. Weems – Just a Sister Away (1988)
Carol Meyers – Discovering Eve (1988)
Harding, S. (1991). Whose Science? Whose Knowledge?: Thinking from Women's Lives
Code, L. (1991). What Can She Know? Feminist Theory and the Construction of Knowledge
Monday Jul 14, 2025
Monday Jul 14, 2025
In this deeply honest episode of The Advancing Women Podcast, we explore what it means to stop hiding the cracks—and start honoring them. Inspired by Leonard Cohen’s iconic lyric, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in” from his song Anthem (1992), we dig into the cultural and professional pressures that push us all, especially women , toward perfectionism as a form of self-protection.
Through the lens of the Japanese art of Kintsugi—the practice of repairing pottery with gold lacquer, which highlights rather than hides breakage—and the concept of “Prove-It-Again” bias coined by sociologist Joan Williams in her book What Works for Women at Work(2014), this episode invites listeners to see their so-called imperfections not as flaws, but as places of power, healing, and light.
Host Dr. Kimberly doesn’t just speak about vulnerability—she practices it, sharing her own season of struggle and the truth that letting the light in starts with acknowledging - maybe even honoring - the cracks.
In this episode, we unpack:
- The cultural myth of perfectionism—and who it really serves
- How gender bias reinforces the need to over-perform and under-rest
- What Kintsugi and Leonard Cohen’s Anthem can teach us about resilience
- Joan Williams’ research on the “Prove-It-Again” bias and how it impacts women at work
References
Williams, Joan C. and Rachel Dempsey. What Works for Women at Work: Four Patterns Working Women Need to Know. New York: New York University Press, 2014. (Chapter on “Prove-It-Again” bias)
Kintsugi: The Japanese Art of Precious Scars. [For readers, a good primer is by Bonnie Kemske, Kintsugi Wellness: The Japanese Art of Nourishing Mind, Body, and Spirit (2020)]
Advancing Women Podcast (Spotify, iTunes) The Progress Principle https://open.spotify.com/episode/73WsiPl2cisLSd5XjZlco5?si=wfiNpNMPQpeWR9Cbl0tcAQ
The Therapeutic Art of Kintsugi: Applying Japanese Pottery Repair Techniques to Personal Healing. Posted in: Mind/Body Medicine, Self-actualization, Spirituality (Guest post by Prudence Sinclair.) https://berniesiegelmd.com/the-therapeutic-art-of-kintsugi-applying-japanese-pottery-repair-techniques-to-personal-healing/
Let’s Connect @AdvancingWomenPodcast
Subscribe, rate, and share the podcast!
Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
More on Dr. DeSimone here! https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/
Monday Jun 30, 2025
Monday Jun 30, 2025
Episode Summary:
What if the most productive thing you could do this summer… is less?
In this gentle-yet-grounded episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we challenge the pressure to “make the most” of summer by doing more—and instead embrace the science and soul of slowing down. Host, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone offers five simple, evidence-based shortcuts to reclaim moments of real joy, presence, and restoration—without guilt or hustle.
Grounded in psychology and full of permission to pause, this is your gentle invitation to swap striving for savoring, even just for a few minutes a day.
In This Episode, We Explore:
- Why summer sometimes feels like a grind (and how to resist it)
- The science behind savoring: Attention Restoration Theory + Positive Psychology
- The power of micro-rest and ritual for combating burnout
- The Broaden-and-Build Theory and how joy makes us stronger
- 5 liberating shortcuts to lighten the mental load
Here’s a sneak peak! 5 Tiny Summer Shortcuts for More Joy & Less Grind:
- Do chores in the sunshine – Boost mood & vitamin D while still getting things done.
- Reclaim waiting time – Turn “wasted” minutes into mini-retreats.
- Make a ritual, not a routine – Infuse meaning into daily habits.
- Go outside for no reason – Unplug, un-goal, and let nature reset your brain.
- Say yes to low-stakes joy – Let go of perfection and embrace play.
Manifestatement: You don’t need to escape your life to enjoy your summer. You just need to insert small moments of pause, presence, and play into the life you already have.
Listener Invitation: What does your micro-moment of joy look like?
Tag @AdvancingWomenPodcast on IG or Facebook, or send a message to share how you’re reclaiming rest this summer!
References:
- Attention Restoration Theory (Kaplan, 1995)
- Broaden-and-Build Theory (Barbara Fredrickson, 1998)
- Positive Psychology + the science of savoring
- Norton & Gino (2014) on the power of ritual
Let’s Connect @AdvancingWomenPodcast
Subscribe, rate, and share the podcast!
Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
& Facebook https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
DM or tag to share your summer shortcut joy!
More on Dr. DeSimone here! https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/
Monday Jun 16, 2025
Monday Jun 16, 2025
~A follow-up to “Permission to Pause”
If you've ever stepped away to “rest” but came back feeling just as drained, this episode is for you. In this powerful follow-up to Permission to Pause, we name and unpack a concept that deeply resonated with listeners: contaminated leisure — the kind of downtime that looks like rest but still carries the weight of responsibility, guilt, and multitasking. And naming it matters. Because once we recognize what’s happening, we can begin to reclaim the kind of rest that actually restores.
This episode dives deep into:
- What contaminated leisure really is
- The neuroscience behind why it’s so exhausting
- Why ambitious women are especially affected
- What the research says about emotional labor and the “leisure gap”
- How to reclaim rest as a biological, psychological, and cultural necessity
If rest has ever felt like another item on your to-do list, tune in.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- The origins of the term contaminated leisure and how it shows up in everyday life
- Why “just relaxing” often doesn’t work — and how pseudo-recovery tricks our brains
- How true rest activates the Default Mode Network (DMN), the brain’s key to meaning-making, emotional regulation, and creativity
- How internalized expectations and the "casualty of competence" leave ambitious women especially vulnerable to burnout
- Five science-backed strategies to create space for real, uncontaminated rest
Manifestatement: Rest doesn’t make you less ambitious, it makes your ambition sustainable.
#ContaminatedLeisure #RestIsResistance #AmbitiousWomen #PermissionToPause
https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
Monday Jun 02, 2025
Monday Jun 02, 2025
This episode is for the ambitious woman who’s doing it all—and still feels like it’s never enough.
If you’re listening while multitasking—folding laundry, answering emails, or in between Zoom calls—this one’s for you. Dr. KimberlyDeSimone invites you to press pause on the pressure and unpack why we’ve lost the ability to truly rest. With research, real talk, and radical empathy, this episode explores:
- The blurred boundaries of remote work and why they’re burning us out
- The myth of “productive breaks” and the science behind contaminated leisure
- The invisible labor women carry—and why it’s so exhausting
- How rest can be resistance, recovery, and a reclaiming of your humanity
- A gentle, 3-step invitation to begin unlearning productivity as self-worth
If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting, this episode offers both validation and a vision for a more sustainable model of success.
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Contaminated Leisure is real — downtime that isn’t really down leads to depletion, not restoration.
- Emotional labor—managing feelings, smoothing tension, anticipating needs—is invisible work that disproportionately falls on women and contributes to burnout.
- Rest as Resistance reframes rest as a radical act in a culture that equates productivity with worth.
- Guilt isn’t a sign you’re lazy — it’s often a signal you’re doing something different, not something wrong.
- Micro-moments of rest matter — true rest doesn’t require a retreat, just your presence.
Research Referenced:
- LeanIn.org x McKinsey Report on women and the pandemic’s impact on unpaid labor
- Sociology Compass and American Psychological Association studies on gender and contaminated leisure
- Arlie Hochschild’s work on emotional labor
- Journal of Emotion study linking emotional labor to burnout
- Stephen Covey’s "sharpen the saw" philosophy
- Dr. Brené Brown’s “never enough” script and shame research✨
Manifestatement: "We are human beings, not human doings. We deserve rest—not because we’ve earned it, but because we are human."~ Dr. Kimberly DeSimone
For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast
https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
Monday May 19, 2025
Monday May 19, 2025
Are Your Expectations Really the Problem — or Is That Just What You've Been Told?
Research shows that expectations can be a major source of stress, anxiety, and even the breakdown of trust and respect in our relationships. But let’s challenge the tired narrative that women’s so-called “too high expectations” are to blame.
In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I flip the script. We take a closer look at the real issue: the difference between expectations (often shaped by social norms and limiting stereotypes) and requirements or standards (which are rooted in self-respect, self-worth, and self-care).
The real question isn’t, “Are my expectations too high?” It’s:
“What do I truly require in my relationships—and why?”
Spoiler alert: You are allowed—encouraged, even—to set clear, healthy standards for how you want and deserve to be treated. This episode is your permission slip to stop shrinking, stop second-guessing, and start owning your requirements unapologetically.
Tune in for a powerful mindset shift—from bending to meet others’ comfort zones to boldly honoring your own. Let’s stop blaming women for wanting more, and start asking why we’ve been taught to settle for less.
Referenced Episodes:
Young Men are Opting Out of Marriage and Relationships. Should We Care? (March 2023)
Comparison is the Thief of Joy (May 2023)
For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast
https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/