Advancing Women Podcast

Advice To My 20-Something Self!

I’m practicing what I preach in this episode and offering myself some grace. Enjoy a reposting (with a new introduction) of one of my most popular, and most downloaded episodes ever. It’s all about 50/20 vision…what advice in my 50s would I give my 20-something self?

We've all heard the adage “Hindsight is 20/20”. It's an expression that suggests it's easier to understand something after it has already happened, that we have a level of clarity when we look back at a situation, event, or decision.

This episode in from November 2021 and was my 25^th episode (crazy now that we’re 100 plus episodes in!) and it dropped on my 50th birthday. It’s all about the wisdom and clarity that comes with being in our 50s. What my 50-year-old self wishes my 20-year-old self knew. I invited my two best friends, my most trusted warrior tribe to join me on what ended up being an incredible group mentoring session. It’s a combined 150 years of experience navigating the biases and barriers we as warrior women face.

We talk about choosing what serves you and leaving the rest behind, embracing fear, holding on loosely, learning versus unlearning, having an “AND” mindset versus either or, and so much more. “Be humble enough to learn the rules, thoughtful enough to evaluate how the rules serve you, and brave enough to break the rules.”

Whether in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, this episode is for you!

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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Reference:

https://www.lifehack.org/500575/a-letter-to-my-50-year-old-self-on-grace-and-getting-older

When Dads Do What Moms Do

How often are you asked, “How do you juggle it all?”  If you’re a working mom, the answer is probably OFTEN. If you’re a working dad, the answer is probably NEVER. Research confirms that dads working outside the home are often praised for being good fathers while moms who work outside the home are often judged.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated at how dads get a pat on the back whenever they are out with their kids, while moms often get judged, this episode will hit home! It’s time to detangle having it all from DOING it all!

We should all be outraged by the disparity in expectations that can create more work for moms and minimize the incredibly vital role fathers play. Let’s interrupt that gender-biased default because it’s not good for women, it’s not good for men, and it’s not good for families. #tunein

References:

https://www.thelily.com/my-husband-and-i-are-equal-partners-why-does-he-get-so-much-more-credit-for-parenting/

https://www.npr.org/2014/07/08/329804378/why-arent-men-asked-if-they-can-have-it-allhttps://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/12/fathers-day-facts/

https://www.scarymommy.com/dads-get-more-praise-doing-everyday-things

https://www.tlc.com/parenting/dads-are-happier-than-moms--study-says--but-its-not-that-simple

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The Joy of Missing Out!

Warriors,  do you ever feel like no matter how many productivity techniques you master there is always more to do than you can ever accomplish in the time you have available? So much effort and attention to be productive…often chasing the holy grail of maximizing our productivity. And what about FOMO? The fear of missing out on events, experiences, or life decisions that could make our lives better. The irony is that the exact opposite tends to be true. Research shows FOMO can lead to extreme dissatisfaction and negatively affect our physical and mental health.

FOMO can be exacerbated by social media which creates a constant, instantaneous window into the lives of others…all the achievements and high points of others are posted daily. And even though we know that social media doesn't give a full and accurate picture of people's lives…even though we get that it's more like a movie trailer or a highlight reel of other's good times…it can create a false reality that negatively impacts us nonetheless.

Enter JOMO – the JOY of missing out. JOMO just may be the direct anecdote to FOMO. It is the joy, the pleasure, rather than regret, derived from living quietly and independently without feeling anxious that we are missing out on exciting or interesting events that may be happening elsewhere. Find out more about this purposeful, intentional strategy. #tunein

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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References

https://aninjusticemag.com/whom-do-you-love-your-mother-or-her-sacrifices-a951be29f352

https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/between-the-lines/fomo/articleshow/62550811.cms

Emerging Travel Trends: Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) Vs Iconic Landmarks | Putra | Jurnal Pariwisata Terapan (ugm.ac.id)

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201807/jomo-the-joy-missing-out

https://www.psycom.net/fomo-to-jomo

Fashion is for everyBODY!

Did you know that research shows we tend to dress the way we feel? If we feel sad or unmotivated, we are more likely to wear unflattering clothing. But here’s some good news, we can also feel the way we dress! Fashion is one of the most visible ways we can express ourselves and increasingly there's a movement to make fashion more playful and inclusive.

Maybe it’s time this summer to have some fun and rethink the fashion choices we are making. Are we picking colors and patterns we love, or wearing black because it’s most “flattering”? Ready to ditch hiding in favor of expressing through fashion? Don’t miss this discussion with body-positive fashion influencer Veronic Freund. All of us warrior women deserve to step into our power and feel fashionable and confident in clothes that makes us feel playful, sexy, and beautiful!

 

Resources:

To learn more about Veronica:

https://veronicafreund.com/

https://www.tiktok.com/@veronicafreund

https://www.instagram.com/veronica_freund87/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

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Calm in the Chaos

Take time for yourself…take time for self-care…fill your cup. We hear this all the time, but the reality is that things often work against you. All the expectations…the balls we’re meant to juggle, all at once and never drop. Oh…and keep smiling.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I explore the radical acceptance of the chaos in our lives and talk about how we can care for ourselves, in small ways, regularly. It’s about creating a practice for peace, even in difficult moments, and being mindful and intentional in how we show up, the experience others have with us, and the energy we bring. Let’s talk about the small ways we can maintain our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, even in the chaos.  

Show References:

The Blissful Mind website https://theblissfulmind.com/

https://recreation.ku.edu/seven-pillars-self-care#

 

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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It’s Not a Women’s Ambition Gap, It’s an Ambition Penalty!

Coming off of last week's episode addressing the assault on women’s ambition, I wanted to explore ambition and the backlash women experience in more detail in this episode with special guest nationally recognized money expert, Stephanie O'Connell Rodriguez

 

Does the workplace constantly make you question yourself? Ever had an offer rescinded when you tried to negotiate for more money? Ever been told to speak up but when you do, you face consequences? Ever feel like ambitious men are celebrated while ambitious women are criticized and experience backlash? Tired of the backlash, blame, and gaslighting? Then you won’t want to miss this episode!

 

Learn more about Stephanie O’Connell and the ambition penalty here:

 

https://tooambitious.com/about/

 

https://www.instagram.com/stefanieoconnell/

 

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

 

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Stop Blaming Women’s Ambition: Debunking Butker

Most of you have probably seen or at least heard about the commencement speech from NFL kicker Harrison Butker. This #newepisode doesn’t cover everything he said. Still, I cover the comments that are in my lane…in the areas of gender equity and women’s experiences in the workforce and the home. Let’s explore the “diabolical lie” that Butker asserts women have fallen for. Women’s ambition is, yet again…in the hot seat!

Are women choosing careers over family, and if so, why? Are men choosing not to marry or even date? Are our expectations too high? Should we set aside our workforce ambition and focus on marriage and children? Can we have it all?

These questions and so much more will be examined and dissected to see if they hold up against what the science tells us. You don’t want to miss this one! #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast

 

References:

Advancing Women Podcast. Young men are opting out of marriage. Should we care? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/young-men-are-opting-out-of-marriage-and/id1569849100?i=1000604015537

Forbes: What women want ranking.  https://www.forbes.com/2010/05/26/what-do-women-want-in-husband-forbes-woman-well-being-marriage_slide.html?sh=7c248933b11b

Pew Research (2024) https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/15/among-young-adults-without-children-men-are-more-likely-than-women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday/

News & Observer. Husbands, wives more likely to cheat if they depend on spouse for money. https://www.newsobserver.com/living/article22790805.html#storylink=cpy

Why is Mom So Angry? I’m Glad You Asked!

It’s May, a month we celebrate moms and a great time to touch base about how we are feeling about things.  If you sometimes find yourself feeling undervalued, unseen, and underappreciated, this episode is for you.

Research shows most women, especially moms, have been socially conditioned to do for others. To always prioritize and meet everyone’s needs. We face societal and familial expectations of selflessness, ensuring everybody stays comfortable and happy. We are meant to make sure everything gets done and to do it without complaint.

But what happens when the constant juggling of to-do’s,  the emotional and mental labor, and the lack of feeling valued start to take a toll? How do we tackle the frustration and the resentment that bubbles up? When we are emotionally exhausted,  spiritually fatigued, and feeling undervalued for long enough, we can find ourselves enduring rather than thriving…missing out on the joy (and rest) we deserve.

Guess what though…you are not alone! #tunein to learn more about emotional labor, spiritual fatigue, and just maybe, to get the empathy and acknowledgement you need.

Reference:

Hartley, G. (2018) Fed Up: Emotional labor, women, and the way forward.

Laporte, D. (2014) The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms.

https://www.psychedmommy.com/blog/invisible-load-motherhood

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201807/the-invisible-mom

https://the-toast.net/2015/07/13/emotional-labor/?src=longreads

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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A Grown Up Gap Year With #Youtuber Jen Lefforge

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you could do anything? What if you took a grown-up gap year to figure it out? That’s just what my guest Jen Lefforge did. That is how, at age 46, after a 25-year career, and after raising 3 sons, she took a year off to find out what she wanted to be when she grew up. That grown-up gap year resulted in her current day job as a professional content creator and full-time #YouTuber who makes a living documenting her travels, adventures, and the art of joyful living to her community of more than 80K subscribers!

 

www.youtube.com/joyfullivingwithjenlefforge

 

Too often, as women, we hear that our best years are behind us once we get into our 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond, so I am passionate about telling the stories of women of a big age (as Jen likes to say!)  who are crushing it and doing new and unexpected things.

As women we tend to follow a less linear path, more of what researchers call a Kaleidoscope Career Model (KCM). The kaleidoscope is a perfect metaphor for how we alter our careers in response to changing needs. Whether the need is for authenticity, balance, or ever-changing family needs, we as women are often rotating priorities.

This episode explores the journey and the possibilities that can be ours if we take the time to dig deep, reflect, and take a chance! You don’t want to miss this episode with @jenlefforge

Find the fabulous Jen Lefforge here:

YouTube. Joyful Living with Jen Lefforge www.youtube.com/joyfullivingwithjenlefforge

Website: Jenlefforge.com

Instagram @jenlefforge

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Reference:

Sullivan, S. E., & Carraher, S. M. (2022). The kaleidoscope career model. In Oxford research encyclopedia of business and management.

Mainiero, L. A., & Gibson, D. E. (2018). The kaleidoscope career model revisited: How midcareer men and women diverge on authenticity, balance, and challenge. Journal of Career Development, 45(4), 361-377

Career Advice From Women of Influence

Too often the advice given to women doesn’t work because it wasn’t designed by or for women. In this episode, we share advice from inspirational women of influence. We break it down and talk about what advice serves us, and what advice…seemingly well-meaning, might lead to unintended consequences.

Should we always give 100% in everything we do? Should we bring our authentic selves always? Should we only do work we love? Maybe, maybe not. #Tunein and we’ll break it all down. With a special guest, the very wise Heather Harris

https://heatherlynnharris.com/

 

Episodes of the Advancing Women Podcast referenced in this episode:

Fear of Failure https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290

Center Coach Create™ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/advice-that-works-for-women-center-coach-create/id1569849100?i=1000641765074

Reference

https://www.bizjournals.com/buffalo/news/2023/07/13/women-of-influence-2023-honorees.html

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/