Advancing Women Podcast

Tapping Into Your Flow Mojo!

Have you ever been “in the zone”, the highly focused mental state conducive to optimal creativity and productivity?

In positive psychology, this is known as the Flow state, the mental state in which a person performing some activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process. Coined by Hungarian American Psychologist and author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (you’ll have to listen to know how it’s pronounced!) flow is, at its core, about achieving happiness, joy, purpose, and optimal performance.

A lot of people say that the purpose of life is to be happy. I'm not so sure. I challenge this thinking in this episode arguing that maybe the purpose OF life is to find purpose IN life.

This episode explores how that flow state is note bestowed, rather, it can be developed. This week’s episode focuses on how we can learn to achieve flow in our lives. The key aspect to flow is control: in the flow-like state, we exercise control over the contents of our consciousness rather than allowing ourselves to be passively determined by external forces.

“The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times… The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1990).

It's not necessary to wait for lightning (or your flow state) to strike. If we understand the benefits and outcomes of flow and reinforce the habits and circumstances that can cultivate flow, we can continue to cultivate joy and accomplish worthwhile things.

Some references from this week’s episode:

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1996). Creativity: Flow and the psychology of discovery and invention. New York: Harper Collins Publishers.

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. New York: Harper & Row.

Walker, C. (2010). Experiencing Flow: Is Doing it Together Better Than Doing It Alone? The Journal of Positive Psychology. 5. 3-11. 10.1080/17439760903271116.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233265431_Experiencing_Flow_Is_Doing_it_Together_Better_Than_Doing_it_Alone/link/56be22af08ae44da37f8919d/download

https://www.ted.com/talks/mihaly_csikszentmihalyi_flow_the_secret_to_happiness?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

 

 

 

Male Allyship

This episode is focused on male allies for gender equity in the workplace and why male allyship is so crucial in the advancing women movement.

This isn't about men being in a savior role. We're not damsels in distress. It’s about shifting the conversation from empowering women (spoiler alert – women are already powerful!) to empowering male allies to be at the forefront of leading inclusive, respectful, cultures where women too can thrive. We need male allies boldly and publicly supporting the work of advancing women.

This episode also focuses on building upon allyship towards advocacy. An ally is a person who unites for mutual benefit, an advocate takes it even further with public support - it’s about men being upstanders not bystanders.

We also discuss the allyship gap and the evidence based, action-driven strategies organizations and leaders can adopt to help combat inequity.

Male allies are in a powerful position to make change, and this episode is a call to action!

Reference: The 21st Century Male Allyship 3% Movement https://www.3percentmovement.com/men

Use Good Communication to Interrupt Gender Bias

You’re in for a real treat on this week’s #advancingwomenpodcast. I am delighted to have communication expert Dr. Pat Sanders as a guest this episode talking about how communication can be our superpower! We discuss how the power of a good story, and a good narrative can impact our advancement. When people are willing to really listen and hear and understand, they're much more likely to be on your side and advocate for you. This episode helps with the pragmatic tools we need to use our communication superpower to mediate and transcend bias and barriers that keep talented, warrior women from advancing.

We address #intersectionality – a term coined by lawyer and civil rights activist Kimberlé Crenshaw - how race, class, gender, and other dimensions can intersect and overlap creating layers of bias and barriers. We’ll talking about how to hone your communications superpower using proven communications strategies and tactics. How good communication can lead to #resiliency and #antifragility. As Dr. Sanders notes “You're speaking is one of the most powerful tools that you can possess in your arsenal of communication.”

For more information on Dr. Pat Sanders go to her website https://www.drpatsanders.com/

LinkedIn  https://www.linkedin.com/in/drpatsanders/

And for more information on the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Email me feedback or topics that matter to you at drdesimone@advancingwomenpodcast.com

If you enjoy the Advancing Women Podcast, please rate it, and follow on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

The Deals We Make

Work and Family Decisions and the Impact on Women’s Bargaining Power

Women’s workforce decisions, whether to work full time, work part time or stay at home (after starting a family) can have a significant impact not only on our economic wealth over our lifetime, but also on our agency, voice, and bargaining power.

This episode explores the full complexity of our roles, our bargaining power and our voice in the home and in the workplace. We’ll talk about the Opt-Out Revolution and the Opt-out Myth. It’s a conversation not just about our choices, but also about knowing and acknowledging the unintended or hidden consequence on our earning potential for the lifespan.

This episode will serve as a cautionary tale and/or a road map to guide you if you’re in the thick of it.

#leanin #getbacktowork #thefemininemystique #genderequity #womenempowerwomen

Emotional Labor

Do you ever feel the overwhelming need to scream ENOUGH! I’M DONE! If you’ve felt the frustration of  not only the constant managing of every small task, but also managing your feelings and emotions and frustrations when nobody seems to understand all you do. And managing other people’s emotions to ensure you keep everyone else comfortable and happy. The physical tasks, but also all the invisible emotional work – that other people don’t ever seem to see, but WE see it and feel it. In everything we do, at home and at work, everywhere. This is emotional labor.

Emotional labor is an important discussion, especially for women because It’s everywhere. Constantly having to be mindful of how our every action, anything we say or do, might be interpreted, misinterpreted, or judged. Emotional labor then is the unpaid work that many still don't understand.

Don’t miss this episode which brings the discussion of emotional labor to the forefront as we challenge the gendered nature of emotional labor and the distasteful social constructs that suggest we as women are somehow genetically predisposed to this often invisible, unacknowledged, and under-appreciated effort. Acknowledging emotional labor is foundational to discussions of equity and equality and these conversations are part of our path to change.

The Art and Agony of Saying NO!

Of all the advice given to women, almost nothing is as oversimplified as the advice to say no to service work, or volunteer work. Unpaid work. This episode goes beyond creating boundaries and controlling our own narrative. We consider with compassion why saying no, while difficult for many people, can be especially difficult for women. We examine the very real patterns of bias, social norms and expectations that contribute to why women often find saying no so challenging.

All you warriors listening have heard me say many times that this podcast is where empathy meets pragmatism, and nowhere is that more the case than this episode. We will discuss the art of saying no and the practical steps to decline effectively and confidently those unpaid, unappreciated projects that don’t move the needle in terms of your advancement goals.

If it’s not a HELL YES, then it probably should be a HELL NO. Make room for the HELL YES opportunities that the universe is working on sending you!!

Glamorizing the Grind: Why Overwork and Burnout Are Not a Badge of Honor!

Our extreme work culture - the culture of overwork - and the glorification of overwork is problematic. We all pay a price for overwork including stress and burnout which threaten our health and emotional well-being,

And additional home responsibilities and societal expectations put women at a distinct disadvantage in extreme work models, not because women shirk the pressure or responsibility of extreme work, but because of the many social, cultural reasons that women are unlikely to be able to match the hours logged by their male colleagues.

 This episode addresses the extreme work model, presenteeism, and a 24/7 work culture where high intensity and constant deadlines are the norm, everything is an emergency, and every problem is critical.

 A culture of constant accessibility and availability has become the productivity standard. But is it necessary? We need to rethink outdated and unnecessary attributes of the ideal worker as one willing to prioritize their job above all.

The absence of sleep, good diet, exercise, relaxation, time with family and friends - time to just BE - is not something to be applauded. To many people were burnout as a badge of honor, and it needs to change. If you want to stop glamorizing the grind, this is the episode for you!

Where Are the Women? Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion and Advancing Women.

Despite women’s advancement in the workforce, the pipeline for women to top level executive positions of power, pay, and prestige remains broken. Women have advanced, but only to a point. This episode addresses how many social-cultural, institutional, and structural biases and barriers can hold talented, qualifies warrior women back.

And it is not just low at the CEO level, it is all executive levels. In the financial services industry, women make up 61 percent of accountants and auditors, 53 percent of financial managers, and 37 percent of financial analysts…but they are only 13% of chief financial officers in Fortune 500 companies. Women make up 54% of law students. Yet despite the larger numbers, only 20% are equity partners. The reality is that the higher a woman rises in a law firm, the greater the chance she will be one of the only women in the room. The inequity exists at top levels in every domain…despite women’s herculean efforts.

This episode discusses diversity, equity, and inclusion and what these terms mean specifically as it relates to advancing women. The next time someone states how much better things have gotten for women and asks the condescending question “so what is it you want then…” you will be ready to say…I am glad you asked.

This episode focuses on how diversity, equity, inclusion and most importantly ACTION can drive a more diverse, equitable and inclusive workforce and world.

Warriors Need Love (and Self-Care) Too!

The World Health Organization kicked off Self-Care Month on June 24th leading up to Self-Care Day on July 24th So we will likely be seeing and hearing more about the importance of self-care in the upcoming weeks.

Self-care sometimes, unfortunately can be the first thing to go when we’re stressed which is when we need it most. This is such an important topic for everyone but especially for women.

In this episode I am joined by wellness warrior Erica Golub to discuss the crucial subject of self-care and wellness. I’m excited to welcome Erica to the advancing women podcast. Erica is a certified yoga, mindfulness and meditation practitioner and inventor of Backyard Yoga, a mindfulness movement and meditation tool set for kids.

The strong women. The warriors. Too often the world can be quick to critique and slow to show compassion and caring, especially if they don’t think you need it. Just because we are strong - whether it’s physically mentally or emotionally doesn’t mean we don’t need people or support. Women are often seen as someone who needs to care for others, not necessarily as someone who needs to be cared FOR.

Join us for this episode where we discuss self-care strategies including the mindset, skillset, and toolset (what you think, what you know, and what you do) to ensure you give the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.

All Women are Defective!

Look up the word defective in the dictionary. It’s an adjective meaning imperfect or faulty. And faulty is defined as working badly or unreliably, having or displaying weaknesses. So, you’re probably thinking – wow – really? That is an unexpended and potentially offensive episode title for the Advancing Women Podcast. It is provocative, for sure, but it is meant to punctuate the messaging we as women experience. When we consider perceptions of women through the social-cultural lens as it relates to our life choices related to work, advancement, and family – the message tends to imply imperfect, faulty…defective in some way, regardless of the choices we as women make and the paths we take.

Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or a woman who has chosen not to have children – if you have ever felt like your choices have resulted in judgement, then this is an episode you don’t want to miss.

And…if you work, then come home and feel like you are starting your “second shift” you are not alone. The “second shift” refers to the household and childcare duties that follow the day's work. Plentiful research shows that despite women being more educated and more employed than ever, they are still taking on most of the household and familial duties. And it’s not just about chores and childcare; women are also much more likely to be the ones who care for sick or elderly parents. This is episode discusses this very real imbalance that has negative consequences for women’s professional advancement. This episode also addresses how Tug of War Bias can sneak in. Where bias against women can foster conflict amongst women and what we as warriors can do to interrupt those negative patterns.