Advancing Women Podcast

Transcending the “Invisible Rules” That Create Barriers for Women

This week I talk with Dr. Holly Catalfamo who shares her findings about her book The invisible rules: What's really holding women back in business and how to fix it (by Holly Catalfamo and Paul Harrietha).

We discuss why the advice so often given to women to get ahead doesn’t work. We expose the inequitable hidden rules and discuss how to transcend, and advance based on the authors research findings from intensive interviews with 50 executive women. We’ll share the best practice learning from women who have achieved professional success at the highest level.

“Like it or not. There are two sets of rules that govern corporate employment practices, one set for men, and one set for women. One set that continues to preserve a long-standing male power structure by assuring that a disproportionate number of men achieve senior leadership status and the big paychecks that go with those positions and a second set of powerful, deeply rooted, and largely imperceptible rules that make the pursuit of senior leadership far more demanding - and uncertain - for aspiring women”. (Invisible Rules, p. 3).

If you are truly committed to gender equity and if transcending barriers is a top priority, then awareness followed by bold action is the answer. Bold actions create momentum, and we need that momentum to fix this deeply broken leadership pipeline that relegates far too many talented, highly qualified women to the sidelines.

References

For more information on the book, or the CAPS Leadership Model:

https://capsleadership.ca/

https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Rules-Really-Holding-Business-ebook/dp/B08YFLJW96

You can reach out anytime with questions, comments, or suggestions by emailing drdesimone@advancingwomenpodcast.com or @advancingwomenpodcast on Instagram.

Form more resources go to https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Managing Bad Behavior in the Workplace

I am extremely excited to have Lisa Gillette with us this week on the Advancing Women Podcast. Lisa is an equal pay activist, DEI advocate, keynote speaker, and certified executive coach (ICF PCC) focused on women’s leadership.

Lisa is intimately familiar with the special challenges all women face in the workplace, having spent 25 years climbing the corporate ladder, the last ten as an executive for FOX Sports television. Along with providing strategic and creative direction in the launch of over 300 sports networks in Asia, Latin America, and the US, Lisa was responsible for on air planning and operations for FOX Sports broadcast and the 22 regional sports networks. Lisa created and led the mentorship program “Women Working in Sports” focused on increasing diversity among senior leadership at FBC and the FOX Cable Network Group.

Lisa’s company, BIG SKY Coaching & Consulting is a natural extension of her desire to guide, support and encourage women to rise up the ranks of leadership all the way into the “C” suite.

In this episode she shares her tried and true strategies managing bad workforce behaviors like mansplaining, bropriating, the credit claimer, the interrupter, the volcano, and more. We have all experienced this, so what do we do when we're in it? Tune in to hear Lisa’s sage advice in this week’s episode.

For more information or to connect with Lisa check out her social media below. You can also reach out anytime with questions, comments, or suggestions by emailing drdesimone@advancingwomenpodcast.com or @advancingwomenpodcast on Instagram.

Website: https://bigsky.coach
Instagram: @bigskycoach_lisa_gillette
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-gillette/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BIGSKYCoach.lisagillette
YouTube: BIG SKY Coaching & Consulting SUCCESS

Is the Term Mansplaining Sexist? No Actually, and Here’s Why…

This episode addresses what mansplaining IS and what it is NOT. If we see mansplaining as synonymous with being condescending, then of course – the immediate response will be “but what about womensplaining”? Women can be condescending too, of course, but retorting with “what about womensplaining” fails to consider historical context in terms of men speaking for women in politics, in the media, and still often, in the workplace.

There is NO HISTORY of women having voice when men did not, or of women creating laws and policies for men, or of women being in the position of power over men. This is an important part of the discussion. When we talk about gender differences, we must consider the wider context. The historical context, and the data.

In this episode we discuss hegemony; the political, economic, or military predominance of one group over another. We talk about who holds most of the wealth, most positions of power, pay, and prestige and most top leadership roles in industry and government (spoiler alert…it’s NOT WOMEN).  We talk about Androcentric Bias - the assumption that the male view is the norm or default, and androcentrism - the propensity to center society around men and men’s needs, priorities, and values and to relegate women to the periphery. Context matters, and we discuss this in detail in this episode.

Mansplaining is a condescending explanation by members of a socially, culturally, or legally privileged groups in their interactions with those who don’t hold the same power and privilege.

Many male ally’s may be asking, but how do I recognize mansplaining so I can be an upstander? This episode addresses where mansplaining is most prevalent (which domains) and provides some new solutions to a tiresome old problem.

#mansplaining #genderequity #genderedcommunication #hegemony #power #privelege #voice

Website: www.advancingwomenpodcast.com Instagram @advancingwomenpodcast
Email:  drdesimone@advancingwomenpodcast.com

References

Am I Mansplaining Chart? https://images.app.goo.gl/XxbgA6JBbBYjwosF6

Mansplaining Explained in One Chart: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

Kaplan, S. (2019). Mansplaining: New solutions to a tiresome old problem. The Conversation Online:  https://theconversation.com/mansplaining-new-solutions-to-a-tiresome-old-problem-120400

Bailey, A. H., LaFrance, M., & Dovidio, J. F. (2019). Is man the measure of all things? A social cognitive account of androcentrism. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 23(4), 307-331.

Does Diversity Training Do What It Is Supposed To Do?

Diversity training is aimed at interrupting problematic behaviors that can sometimes lead to a hostile workplace and inequitable opportunities, or lack of opportunity for certain groups. It’s meant to create a more culturally competent environment, to improve morale, help workers feel more committed to their jobs, help companies recruit and retain a diverse workforce and even increase productivity and creativity.

But does it do these things…and if not, why not? Also, is mandatory diversity, equity, and Inclusion training effective, and if not, how do we make the necessary changes to create solution that move the needle. Solutions that mitigate both the mindset and the behavior that is woven into the fabric of our organizational and institutional culture so we can create lasting, meaningful, measurable change.

Real change is not measured with words. It is not measured with input; it’s measured with outcomes. Changing culture must be a holistic process infused in every part of organizational structures - it is habits, habitual behaviors at the individual, team, and organizational level. We must identify the habits that are hindering equitable outcomes and create initiatives that create impact – measurable outcomes that prove what we are doing is moving the needle and creating real cultural change.

Visit www.advancingwomenpodcast.com Email me @ drdesimone@advancingwomenpodcast.com or find me @advancingwomenpodcast

References:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/phillewis1/2019/10/08/small-issues--big-problems/?sh=60455ba42650

https://www.pnas.org/content/116/25/12255

https://hbr.org/2020/05/why-sexual-harassment-programs-backfire

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/11/upshot/sexual-harassment-workplace-prevention-effective.html

https://yourstory.com/herstory/2019/05/women-leadership-sexual-harassment-workplace/amp

Gender Equity is Good for Everyone – Not Just Women!

We are still, too often, trying to “sell” people on gender equity.

First, we must prove that we don’t already have it. This idea that “things have gotten so much better” persists and with it, the idea that the work is done, when the data just don’t support that. The work is far from done!

Next, we must prove that gender equality is not about accommodating women, a narrative that is the opposite of equality. We don’t “accommodate” half the population. It’s about creating an environment conducive to the success of individuals in the 21^st century

And finally, we must convince people that there is value to everyone, that gender equity is good for everyone. This episode focuses on the evidence-based, proven positive outcomes for everyone.  The world, nations, businesses, women, children and YES…men too!

A more gender egalitarian future is one that will improve our lives. It’s a future with potential for more happiness, reduced stress, better health, better marriages, stronger families, more successful and profitable companies. It’s about more abundance. Win-win.

A rising tide lifts all boats. Less gender inequality = less gender discrimination for women and men. We will all thrive in a world where both genders are afforded their own "pursuit of happiness" unhindered by discriminatory policies and laws, prescriptive social constructs, and gender stereotypes and biases. Let’s talk about how we get there in this week’s episode of the Advancing Women Podcast. #genderequity #genderequality #hapiness #abundance #worklifebalance

References:

Audette, A.P., Lam, S., O’Connor, H. et al. (E)Quality of Life: A Cross-National Analysis of the Effect of Gender Equality on Life Satisfaction. J Happiness Stud 20, 2173–2188 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-018-0042-8

Michael Kimmel: Why gender equality is good for everyone – men included TEDWomen https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_kimmel_why_gender_equality_is_good_for_everyone_men_included?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

Caroline Strachan: Why gender equality is not just about women TEDxFolkestone https://youtu.be/a4WuurpnSbc

Tapping Into Your Flow Mojo!

Have you ever been “in the zone”, the highly focused mental state conducive to optimal creativity and productivity?

In positive psychology, this is known as the Flow state, the mental state in which a person performing some activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process. Coined by Hungarian American Psychologist and author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (you’ll have to listen to know how it’s pronounced!) flow is, at its core, about achieving happiness, joy, purpose, and optimal performance.

A lot of people say that the purpose of life is to be happy. I'm not so sure. I challenge this thinking in this episode arguing that maybe the purpose OF life is to find purpose IN life.

This episode explores how that flow state is note bestowed, rather, it can be developed. This week’s episode focuses on how we can learn to achieve flow in our lives. The key aspect to flow is control: in the flow-like state, we exercise control over the contents of our consciousness rather than allowing ourselves to be passively determined by external forces.

“The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times… The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1990).

It's not necessary to wait for lightning (or your flow state) to strike. If we understand the benefits and outcomes of flow and reinforce the habits and circumstances that can cultivate flow, we can continue to cultivate joy and accomplish worthwhile things.

Some references from this week’s episode:

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1996). Creativity: Flow and the psychology of discovery and invention. New York: Harper Collins Publishers.

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. New York: Harper & Row.

Walker, C. (2010). Experiencing Flow: Is Doing it Together Better Than Doing It Alone? The Journal of Positive Psychology. 5. 3-11. 10.1080/17439760903271116.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233265431_Experiencing_Flow_Is_Doing_it_Together_Better_Than_Doing_it_Alone/link/56be22af08ae44da37f8919d/download

https://www.ted.com/talks/mihaly_csikszentmihalyi_flow_the_secret_to_happiness?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

 

 

 

Male Allyship

This episode is focused on male allies for gender equity in the workplace and why male allyship is so crucial in the advancing women movement.

This isn't about men being in a savior role. We're not damsels in distress. It’s about shifting the conversation from empowering women (spoiler alert – women are already powerful!) to empowering male allies to be at the forefront of leading inclusive, respectful, cultures where women too can thrive. We need male allies boldly and publicly supporting the work of advancing women.

This episode also focuses on building upon allyship towards advocacy. An ally is a person who unites for mutual benefit, an advocate takes it even further with public support - it’s about men being upstanders not bystanders.

We also discuss the allyship gap and the evidence based, action-driven strategies organizations and leaders can adopt to help combat inequity.

Male allies are in a powerful position to make change, and this episode is a call to action!

Reference: The 21st Century Male Allyship 3% Movement https://www.3percentmovement.com/men

Use Good Communication to Interrupt Gender Bias

You’re in for a real treat on this week’s #advancingwomenpodcast. I am delighted to have communication expert Dr. Pat Sanders as a guest this episode talking about how communication can be our superpower! We discuss how the power of a good story, and a good narrative can impact our advancement. When people are willing to really listen and hear and understand, they're much more likely to be on your side and advocate for you. This episode helps with the pragmatic tools we need to use our communication superpower to mediate and transcend bias and barriers that keep talented, warrior women from advancing.

We address #intersectionality – a term coined by lawyer and civil rights activist Kimberlé Crenshaw - how race, class, gender, and other dimensions can intersect and overlap creating layers of bias and barriers. We’ll talking about how to hone your communications superpower using proven communications strategies and tactics. How good communication can lead to #resiliency and #antifragility. As Dr. Sanders notes “You're speaking is one of the most powerful tools that you can possess in your arsenal of communication.”

For more information on Dr. Pat Sanders go to her website https://www.drpatsanders.com/

LinkedIn  https://www.linkedin.com/in/drpatsanders/

And for more information on the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Email me feedback or topics that matter to you at drdesimone@advancingwomenpodcast.com

If you enjoy the Advancing Women Podcast, please rate it, and follow on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

The Deals We Make

Work and Family Decisions and the Impact on Women’s Bargaining Power

Women’s workforce decisions, whether to work full time, work part time or stay at home (after starting a family) can have a significant impact not only on our economic wealth over our lifetime, but also on our agency, voice, and bargaining power.

This episode explores the full complexity of our roles, our bargaining power and our voice in the home and in the workplace. We’ll talk about the Opt-Out Revolution and the Opt-out Myth. It’s a conversation not just about our choices, but also about knowing and acknowledging the unintended or hidden consequence on our earning potential for the lifespan.

This episode will serve as a cautionary tale and/or a road map to guide you if you’re in the thick of it.

#leanin #getbacktowork #thefemininemystique #genderequity #womenempowerwomen

Emotional Labor

Do you ever feel the overwhelming need to scream ENOUGH! I’M DONE! If you’ve felt the frustration of  not only the constant managing of every small task, but also managing your feelings and emotions and frustrations when nobody seems to understand all you do. And managing other people’s emotions to ensure you keep everyone else comfortable and happy. The physical tasks, but also all the invisible emotional work – that other people don’t ever seem to see, but WE see it and feel it. In everything we do, at home and at work, everywhere. This is emotional labor.

Emotional labor is an important discussion, especially for women because It’s everywhere. Constantly having to be mindful of how our every action, anything we say or do, might be interpreted, misinterpreted, or judged. Emotional labor then is the unpaid work that many still don't understand.

Don’t miss this episode which brings the discussion of emotional labor to the forefront as we challenge the gendered nature of emotional labor and the distasteful social constructs that suggest we as women are somehow genetically predisposed to this often invisible, unacknowledged, and under-appreciated effort. Acknowledging emotional labor is foundational to discussions of equity and equality and these conversations are part of our path to change.