Praise Publicly, Criticize Privately

In this powerful and timely episode, we explore how feedback—especially public feedback—can have vastly different impacts depending on gender, and why the principle “praise publicly, criticize privately” is more than just good advice—it’s a vital strategy for allyship, equity, and leadership development.

Dr. Kimberly DeSimone shares personal insights from years of academic leadership, backed by compelling research on gender bias in student evaluations, performance reviews, and workplace feedback. This episode uncovers how even well-intentioned critiques can reinforce long-standing stereotypes and disproportionately affect women, particularly those in authority or leadership roles.

From teaching evaluations to performance appraisals, listeners are challenged to think critically about how, where, and why they deliver feedback—and how they can shift their language and delivery to foster fairness, growth, and inclusion for everyone.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• Why feedback given to women is often shaped by unconscious gender norms.
• How student evaluations and performance reviews can reflect systemic bias—even unintentionally.
• The power of public praise to combat stereotypes and normalize women's success.
• How private critique, delivered thoughtfully, fosters psychological safety and growth without reinforcing harmful narratives.
• The importance of avoiding gendered labels like “bossy,” “catty,” or “cold,” and replacing them with specific, behavior-based feedback.
• Why women are judged on proof while men are judged on potential—and how to interrupt that dynamic.

Key Takeaways:

• Bias in feedback is real, often unconscious, and has lasting consequences.
• Words matter. The language we use to describe women influences how they are perceived and treated.
• Allyship means being intentional. Supporting women means rethinking when, where, and how we give feedback.
• Public criticism can reinforce negative stereotypes, while public praise can disrupt them.
• Everyone carries unconscious bias. But with awareness, we can shift the culture—one conversation, one evaluation, and one word choice at a time.

Resources Mentioned:

• Clare Boothe Luce’s quote on the burden of representation for women.
• Research by Joan Williams and the Center for WorkLife Law on gender bias.
• MacNell, Driscoll, and Hunt (2015) study on gender in teaching evaluations.

Call to Action:

Think about the last time you gave feedback—what words did you use? Was it public or private? This week, try praising a woman’s work formally and publicly, and if needed, deliver critique privately and constructively. It’s a small change with the potential for big impact.

 

Join the Conversation:

Have a story about feedback—good or bad? Want to share how you’re practicing mindful allyship? Tag us on Instagram @advancingwomenpodcast to keep the conversation going.

Subscribe & Share:

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a colleague or friend who gives or receives feedback. And don’t forget to subscribe for more conversations on advancing women in leadership, work, and beyond.

 

For more information on Dr. DeSimone:

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

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https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/