Advancing Women Podcast

“Lazy Days” Summer Shortcuts to More Joy and Less Grind

Episode Summary:
What if the most productive thing you could do this summer… is less?

In this gentle-yet-grounded episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we challenge the pressure to “make the most” of summer by doing more—and instead embrace the science and soul of slowing down. Host, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone offers five simple, evidence-based shortcuts to reclaim moments of real joy, presence, and restoration—without guilt or hustle.

Grounded in psychology and full of permission to pause, this is your gentle invitation to swap striving for savoring, even just for a few minutes a day.

In This Episode, We Explore:

• Why summer sometimes feels like a grind (and how to resist it)
• The science behind savoring: Attention Restoration Theory + Positive Psychology
• The power of micro-rest and ritual for combating burnout
• The Broaden-and-Build Theory and how joy makes us stronger
• 5 liberating shortcuts to lighten the mental load

Here’s a sneak peak! 5 Tiny Summer Shortcuts for More Joy & Less Grind:

1. Do chores in the sunshine – Boost mood & vitamin D while still getting things done.
2. Reclaim waiting time – Turn “wasted” minutes into mini-retreats.
3. Make a ritual, not a routine – Infuse meaning into daily habits.
4. Go outside for no reason – Unplug, un-goal, and let nature reset your brain.
5. Say yes to low-stakes joy – Let go of perfection and embrace play.

Manifestatement: You don’t need to escape your life to enjoy your summer. You just need to insert small moments of pause, presence, and play into the life you already have.

Listener Invitation: What does your micro-moment of joy look like?
Tag @AdvancingWomenPodcast on IG or Facebook, or send a message to share how you’re reclaiming rest this summer!

References:

• Attention Restoration Theory (Kaplan, 1995)
• Broaden-and-Build Theory (Barbara Fredrickson, 1998)
• Positive Psychology + the science of savoring
• Norton & Gino (2014) on the power of ritual

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DM or tag to share your summer shortcut joy!

More on Dr. DeSimone here! https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Contaminated Leisure: Yep, It Has a Name!

~A follow-up to “Permission to Pause”

If you've ever stepped away to “rest” but came back feeling just as drained, this episode is for you. In this powerful follow-up to Permission to Pause, we name and unpack a concept that deeply resonated with listeners: contaminated leisure — the kind of downtime that looks like rest but still carries the weight of responsibility, guilt, and multitasking. And naming it matters. Because once we recognize what’s happening, we can begin to reclaim the kind of rest that actually restores.

This episode dives deep into:

•  What contaminated leisure really is
•  The neuroscience behind why it’s so exhausting
•  Why ambitious women are especially affected
•  What the research says about emotional labor and the “leisure gap”
•  How to reclaim rest as a biological, psychological, and cultural necessity

If rest has ever felt like another item on your to-do list, tune in.

 In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• The origins of the term contaminated leisure and how it shows up in everyday life
• Why “just relaxing” often doesn’t work — and how pseudo-recovery tricks our brains
• How true rest activates the Default Mode Network (DMN), the brain’s key to meaning-making, emotional regulation, and creativity
• How internalized expectations and the "casualty of competence" leave ambitious women especially vulnerable to burnout
• Five science-backed strategies to create space for real, uncontaminated rest

Manifestatement: Rest doesn’t make you less ambitious, it makes your ambition sustainable.

#ContaminatedLeisure #RestIsResistance #AmbitiousWomen #PermissionToPause

References

 

Bianchi, S. M., & Mattingly, M. J. (2003). Time, Work, and Family: What Do We Know? Social Forces.

Immordino-Yang, M. H. – Research on the brain’s Default Mode Network (DMN) and emotional processing.

Shockley, K. M. – Studies on psychological detachment and pseudo-recovery.

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

Hochschild, A. (1989). The Second Shift – On invisible labor and emotional management.

 

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Permission to Pause: Can We Stop Doing and Just Be for a Minute?

This episode is for the ambitious woman who’s doing it all—and still feels like it’s never enough.

If you’re listening while multitasking—folding laundry, answering emails, or in between Zoom calls—this one’s for you. Dr. KimberlyDeSimone invites you to press pause on the pressure and unpack why we’ve lost the ability to truly rest. With research, real talk, and radical empathy, this episode explores:

• The blurred boundaries of remote work and why they’re burning us out
• The myth of “productive breaks” and the science behind contaminated leisure
• The invisible labor women carry—and why it’s so exhausting
• How rest can be resistance, recovery, and a reclaiming of your humanity
• A gentle, 3-step invitation to begin unlearning productivity as self-worth

If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting, this episode offers both validation and a vision for a more sustainable model of success.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• Contaminated Leisure is real — downtime that isn’t really down leads to depletion, not restoration.
• Emotional labor—managing feelings, smoothing tension, anticipating needs—is invisible work that disproportionately falls on women and contributes to burnout.
• Rest as Resistance reframes rest as a radical act in a culture that equates productivity with worth.
• Guilt isn’t a sign you’re lazy — it’s often a signal you’re doing something different, not something wrong.
• Micro-moments of rest matter — true rest doesn’t require a retreat, just your presence.

Research Referenced:

• LeanIn.org x McKinsey Report on women and the pandemic’s impact on unpaid labor
• Sociology Compass and American Psychological Association studies on gender and contaminated leisure
• Arlie Hochschild’s work on emotional labor
• Journal of Emotion study linking emotional labor to burnout
• Stephen Covey’s "sharpen the saw" philosophy
• Dr. Brené Brown’s “never enough” script and shame research✨

Manifestatement: "We are human beings, not human doings. We deserve rest—not because we’ve earned it, but because we are human."~ Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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Mind the Gap: Between Expectations & Requirements

Are Your Expectations Really the Problem — or Is That Just What You've Been Told?

Research shows that expectations can be a major source of stress, anxiety, and even the breakdown of trust and respect in our relationships. But let’s challenge the tired narrative that women’s so-called “too high expectations” are to blame.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I flip the script. We take a closer look at the real issue: the difference between expectations (often shaped by social norms and limiting stereotypes) and requirements or standards (which are rooted in self-respect, self-worth, and self-care).

The real question isn’t, “Are my expectations too high?” It’s:
“What do I truly require in my relationships—and why?”

Spoiler alert: You are allowed—encouraged, even—to set clear, healthy standards for how you want and deserve to be treated. This episode is your permission slip to stop shrinking, stop second-guessing, and start owning your requirements unapologetically.

Tune in for a powerful mindset shift—from bending to meet others’ comfort zones to boldly honoring your own. Let’s stop blaming women for wanting more, and start asking why we’ve been taught to settle for less.

Referenced Episodes:

Young Men are Opting Out of Marriage and Relationships. Should We Care? (March 2023)

 Comparison is the Thief of Joy (May 2023)

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

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Praise Publicly, Criticize Privately

In this powerful and timely episode, we explore how feedback—especially public feedback—can have vastly different impacts depending on gender, and why the principle “praise publicly, criticize privately” is more than just good advice—it’s a vital strategy for allyship, equity, and leadership development.

Dr. Kimberly DeSimone shares personal insights from years of academic leadership, backed by compelling research on gender bias in student evaluations, performance reviews, and workplace feedback. This episode uncovers how even well-intentioned critiques can reinforce long-standing stereotypes and disproportionately affect women, particularly those in authority or leadership roles.

From teaching evaluations to performance appraisals, listeners are challenged to think critically about how, where, and why they deliver feedback—and how they can shift their language and delivery to foster fairness, growth, and inclusion for everyone.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• Why feedback given to women is often shaped by unconscious gender norms.
• How student evaluations and performance reviews can reflect systemic bias—even unintentionally.
• The power of public praise to combat stereotypes and normalize women's success.
• How private critique, delivered thoughtfully, fosters psychological safety and growth without reinforcing harmful narratives.
• The importance of avoiding gendered labels like “bossy,” “catty,” or “cold,” and replacing them with specific, behavior-based feedback.
• Why women are judged on proof while men are judged on potential—and how to interrupt that dynamic.

Key Takeaways:

• Bias in feedback is real, often unconscious, and has lasting consequences.
• Words matter. The language we use to describe women influences how they are perceived and treated.
• Allyship means being intentional. Supporting women means rethinking when, where, and how we give feedback.
• Public criticism can reinforce negative stereotypes, while public praise can disrupt them.
• Everyone carries unconscious bias. But with awareness, we can shift the culture—one conversation, one evaluation, and one word choice at a time.

Resources Mentioned:

• Clare Boothe Luce’s quote on the burden of representation for women.
• Research by Joan Williams and the Center for WorkLife Law on gender bias.
• MacNell, Driscoll, and Hunt (2015) study on gender in teaching evaluations.

Call to Action:

Think about the last time you gave feedback—what words did you use? Was it public or private? This week, try praising a woman’s work formally and publicly, and if needed, deliver critique privately and constructively. It’s a small change with the potential for big impact.

 

Join the Conversation:

Have a story about feedback—good or bad? Want to share how you’re practicing mindful allyship? Tag us on Instagram @advancingwomenpodcast to keep the conversation going.

Subscribe & Share:

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a colleague or friend who gives or receives feedback. And don’t forget to subscribe for more conversations on advancing women in leadership, work, and beyond.

 

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Live What Matters and Let The Rest Go!

We’re constantly reminded to take time for ourselves, to prioritize self-care, to fill our own cup first. These messages are everywhere—but let’s be honest, it’s not always that simple. Life has a way of stacking the deck against us. The expectations never stop piling up. We’re juggling so many responsibilities—personally, professionally, emotionally—and somehow we’re supposed to keep all the balls in the air…with a smile on our face.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I explore the radical idea of accepting the chaos—acknowledging it without judgment—and finding ways to care for ourselves within it. Not after everything is calm. Not when the to-do list is done. Now.

This is about creating a sustainable practice of peace. It’s about showing up with intention, even in the messiness. Being mindful of how we feel, how we move through the world, and the energy we bring into our relationships and spaces.

Let’s talk about the small but powerful ways we can nurture our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being—especially when life feels anything but peaceful.

 

References:

The Blissful Mind website https://theblissfulmind.com/

https://recreation.ku.edu/seven-pillars-self-care#

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

 

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Walking in an Autism Mom’s Shoes: The Gift of Empathy

Want to know how you can truly support family or friends raising a child with autism? This episode is for you. With April being Autism Awareness Month, it’s the perfect time to learn about what really matters.

Studies show that mothers of children with autism experience stress and depression levels on par with those of active combat soldiers. In this episode, we dive into the importance of awareness, empathy, and practical ways you can offer meaningful support. These are the things autism moms wish you understood, and this episode shares how you can show up for them.

Tune in to the Advancing Women Podcast to hear from autism moms about our experiences and what you can say or do to offer the empathy and support we need.

"No matter how confident we seem, we are scared all the time. No matter how energetic or enthusiastic we seem, we are exhausted all the time. No matter how together we seem, we often feel like we’re barely surviving. No matter how easy we make it look… it’s so freaking hard every day.” #tunein

 

For more information on Dr. Kimberly DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast:

 

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Trailblazing Women: Timeless Words of Wisdom for Women's History Month

In this episode, we celebrate Women’s History Month with words of wisdom from many powerful, brilliant, and inspiring women. Their poignant quotes provide lasting insight and inspiration for all women as we continue to work towards gender equity for all.

These quotes and the resulting discussion come from a variety of women including women of color, women from the LGBTQ community, and women from countries across the globe. The quotes go as far back as the 1700s through current day. This is about the voice and inspiration of ALL women. From Abigail Adams, Susan B. Anthony and Lucrecia Mott to Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, and Audre Lorde, to Doria Shafik, Raicho Hiratsuka, and Simone de Beauvoir to Maya Angelou and Emma Watson – you won’t want to miss this inspiration and insight FROM warrior women, FOR warrior women. #womenshistorymonth

For more information on Dr. Kimberly DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast:

 

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The Progress Principle

In today’s episode, I dive deep into the feeling of being overwhelmed and constantly busy, despite our best efforts to manage our time better. I share some personal reflections on how to take back control of our time and the importance of making small progress in our personal and professional lives. I explore the concept of The Progress Principle, backed by science, and how small wins can lead to greater momentum and motivation. It's a journey of intentionality — where it's not about doing more or being perfect, but about creating consistent, small steps toward progress that lead to greater satisfaction and fulfillment.

Key Themes Discussed in this Episode:

• The Overwhelm Trap: Despite making efforts to reclaim our time, many of us feel overwhelmed with the constant demands of life. The question arises: How can we create more time for ourselves while feeling less burdened?
• The Power of Saying YES to Ourselves: Often, we focus on saying no to others to protect our time. But maybe it's time to say yes to ourselves — add intentional actions that help us feel more in control of our lives.
• The Science Behind Progress: Drawing from The Progress Principle by Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, I explore how small, incremental progress in meaningful tasks can positively impact our well-being, creativity, and motivation.
• Breaking the Cycle of Inaction: How can we avoid feeling stuck or paralyzed by the magnitude of our goals? Small wins matter, and a little forward motion can help us build momentum.
• Small Actions, Big Impact: I share simple, actionable steps like focusing on small goals, celebrating wins, and creating a sustainable approach to maintaining momentum. It’s about making a little bit of progress each day — whether it's spending 10 minutes on a task, having a brief conversation with a friend, or carving out time for self-care.

The key to overcoming overwhelm and reclaiming your time isn’t necessarily about doing more or perfecting everything. It's about taking small, intentional actions that gradually build momentum and foster a sense of accomplishment. If we can apply The Progress Principle in our own lives, we'll feel more in control, less overwhelmed, and more motivated to move forward — one small step at a time. #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast

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Oh, The Joy of Missing Out!

What if we could turn FOMO (the fear of missing out) into JOMO (the JOY of missing out)? In this episode of the #AdvancingWomenPodcast join me in exploring how embracing the freedom to say “no” can help us prioritize us and our time.

JOMO isn’t about scaling back on ambition or motivation, it’s about intentionally focusing our time and energy on what truly brings us both achievement and joy. It’s about creating balance. #tunein to discover how to shift from the fear of missing out to the joy of missing out. JOMO could be the perfect antidote to FOMO, offering peace and fulfillment without the anxiety of feeling left behind. It encourages being fully present in the moment and appreciating the activities you're engaged in, rather than comparing them to what others are doing. #podcast

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References

https://aninjusticemag.com/whom-do-you-love-your-mother-or-her-sacrifices-a951be29f352

https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/between-the-lines/fomo/articleshow/62550811.cms

Fajar Kusnadi Kusumah Putra. (2019). Emerging Travel Trends: Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) Vs Iconic Landmarks. Jurnal Pariwisata Terapan, 3(1), 17–33. https://doi.org/10.22146/jpt.49273

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201807/jomo-the-joy-missing-out

https://www.psycom.net/fomo-to-jomo